Welp – I did a thing. And this is your fair warning – right here – that I’m going to be giving TMI (too much information). You can just keep swiping if you need to. 
My story starts back when I hit puberty. (Ok – yeah – that should get rid of half of you.)

I grew boobs. (Nope wait, several of you are turning back to read on, welcome back!)

I’ve had pretty large boobs since, well, forever. At my heaviest weight, I wore a size J cup bra. For the uninformed; bras literally go through the alphabet up in size, so A, B, C, D, DD(E), DDD(F), G, H, I, J, etc. 

Those are not bras you can just buy down at the Walmart. Those were $65 or more on-line. Each. Those were underwired, super heavy duty, 4 hook backed, steel reinforced, bulletproof mama-jamas (only slightly exaggerating). Some people may have viewed my boobs as normal, fine, or even sexy – I did not. I’d always dreamed about getting a breast reduction. 

My dear mother had Breast Cancer at the very, very, young age of 42. She had a mastectomy (just one side) and went through chemo. Luckily, she kicked cancer’s ass and has been cancer-free ever since. 
Since mom had BC so young, that put me in the high-risk category and I started getting checked every year. Side note: mammograms suck. They are very uncomfortable-to-painful.

Every time I got checked, I thought ‘is this the year I get it?’, ‘is this the year I get it?’ So I’ve been anxious about it for many years. 

Two years ago, I had some unexplained nipple leakage (TMI – I know, sorry), so I went in for a mammogram AND an ultrasound where they found a suspicious little spot. I had a biopsy – not very fun either, by the way – but was found to be benign. I’ve had several additional scans after that.

Since the first biopsy, I started really researching my options and ultimately ended up deciding on the prophylactic double mastectomy with reconstruction.

Last month I had my first of two surgeries. A breast surgeon removed all of my inner breast tissue (which was sent off for pathology) as well as a good amount of skin including the (TMI!!!) nipples and a plastic surgeon closed me up with an expander on each side. I was fitted with four drains and had some effective meds administered. 

If you’ve never had surgical drains, that’s a whole world of pain in the assery. The drains are sutured in place inside your body, then work via gravity and suction. But you still have to ‘strip’ or ‘milk’ the tubes thrice daily. Empty the drains (eww) and measure and log the amount you’re emptying each time. And the drains are at your sides – so reaching across your body to hold the tube in place with one hand while you squeeze downward with the other, and be careful not to slip, lest you have to start all over (ugh!), and with limited range of motion due to the surgery – man that hurts!

The expanders have tabs that are sutured in place to keep the fill port in position so more saline can be inserted (up to 50 cc each week, as desired). But, while you’re instructed to keep working on your range of motion with your arms – sometimes if you reach too far, or just right (wrong) you pull those sutured tabs and get a zap of pain. Ouch!

So what I’m saying is – yes – I’m a big baby. I’m not good with pain, I knew this going into it. I knew there would be pain, I just didn’t know what kind of pain. NOW I know! (Still no regrets.)

Currently, I’m drain free. Also, nipple free, in case you didn’t catch that earlier. I’m also cancer-free! I had a small list of items on the pathology report that were ‘precursors’ to cancer, but I don’t have to have any chemo, radiation, or cancer meds. YAY!! I’m also back to work (boo! haha)

I still have the expanders in. During the surgery they filled the expanders with 250cc, and I’ve had 2 fills of 50cc each per the doc’s recommendation. I have a long scar going across horizontally and a small vertical scar on each breast (hence, the title of this post). I go for the second surgery to trade out the expanders for actual gel implants in April. I figure I’ll be around a C Cup – which is so much better to me. Then three months after that I intend to get 3D tattooed nipples. TMI?!

Yeah, Probably. 

Love, krisgo