thanks, Maggie!
Jokes
Always communication issues with women
A woman goes to court. She has filed a request for a divorce.
The judge asks her what is going on.
She replies, “I need to divorce my husband!“
“OK” the judge says, “let’s start with a few questions first.”
“Like what?” she asks.
“Well, do you have any grounds?”
“Yes, we have about 5 acres out in the country with a small house.”
“I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
“I think It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,”
“ Well then – do you have a grudge?”
“No, but we have a nice, wide carport and a storage shed.”
“Let me ask then,” he continued, “What are your relations like?”
“I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”
He tried again, “Let me ask you this way – is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”
“Let me ask a different question. Do you have any complaints about him?”
“Like what?”
“Well, does he beat you up?”
“No, I’m up at least an hour before him every day.”
Exasperated, the judge finally asks, “ So why do you want a divorce?”
“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He says he can’t communicate with me”
follow me for more life hacks
- AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
- AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
- FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER..
- A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
- IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
- YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
- IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
