Back in the late 70’s, there was a little shack on top of an embankment someone turned into a bar – The Hilltop. There was draft beer, a few tables and chairs, a bar of course, and one bathroom out back. There was a juke box and if you wanted to start a fight all you had to do was play some of the “black music” and it would happen.
I went there after work, as most of us did, and we were drinking, and very rarely would women be there, and even more rarely would two women be there alone. These two had gotten off work and wanted a beer and decided, you know, how bad could it be?
Tommy, who was a mess even when he was sober, asked one of the women to dance with him. There was barely enough room to turn around much less dance. But Tommy bought them a beer, asked the woman to dance, and each time she would tell him no.
It reached a point where he was being obnoxious for the hell of it, but the women ignored him, and finally, Tommy came back to our table, killed a beer or two, and said, “Watch this.” And he headed back in.
“Are you sure you don’t want to dance with me?” Tommy asked the woman.
“I’m sure I do not want to dance,” the woman replied with a sigh.
Tommy turned around and grinned at us and then turned back to the woman.
“So a BJ is out of the question,” Tommy said loudly, and even for Tommy, this was out there
“I’ve already flossed,” the woman said and two of us spewed beer out of our noses. I could not stop laughing, and as Tommy sat down the look of total and awesome defeat burned in his face like a thousand suns. The two women got up and left, and the bartender, who couldn’t stop laughing either, paid their tab.
For years after that incident, Tommy got dental floss for his birthday and for Christmas from people who were there, and from people who heard the story, which lost nothing in the telling. But it good truth, adding nothing to it, the story was still damn hysterical.
Except for the fact there were two women who couldn’t get rid of Tommy. There wasn’t room to dance, and Tommy knew it, and once the woman said no the first three or four times, he was just showing off for the rest of the guys there. It was funny to watch, unless you were a woman who had gone through something like this, and both of those women had to have more than a little fear of how weird things were going to get. I’ll bet neither of them ever went to the Hilltop again.
It was funny how Tommy went down in flames that day, but it was at the expense of the security and privacy of two women who were not bothering anyone.