10 reasons why your computer is better than your girlfriend

Sexy computer1.) She doesn’t talk back to you. At best she beeps or gives you the silent treatment.

2.) She provides you with more information than your girlfriend will ever know.

3.) When you upgrade you know the costs up front.

4.) You can stare at tons of other girls and your computer will never get mad at you.

5.) You can shut her down whenever you get tired of her.

6.) Troubleshooting your computer is much easier than your GF.

7.) Your computer holds many valuable bits of information about your past and still likes you.

8.) You can press your computers buttons without any worry of repercussions.

9.) Your computer won’t sleep with your best friend or cheat on you.

10.) Your computer will cost a lot less than any girlfriend!

via

Stranded

Desertisland01One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship

As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.

Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit.  Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a good cigar?”

“Ten years,”  replied the amazed Irishman

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.

He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long   drag.   “Faith and begorrah,” said the castaway, “that is so good! I’d almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!”

“And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of good Bushmill’s Irish Whiskey?” asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, “Ten years.”

Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink. ” ‘Tis nectar of the gods!” shouted the Irishman. ” ‘Tis truly fantastic!!!”

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, “And how long has it been since you played around?”

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”

Thanks Gene

Bad Bits update

Just to fill you in on some progress in restoring Bad Bits, I’m setting up hosting at Dreamhost.  I’ve got that started and will hopefully be back up and running soon.  I may end up having to start over with new posts.  I’m not sure if I can resurrect what was previously there (I did make an ftp) copy of the files before I canceled service).  But I’m not smart enough to know if that will just reload to the new host or if I’ll have to start over.  Not too big of a deal either way.

Anyway, I did want you all to know that I’m working on it and hopefully it’ll be back online soon.