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“well I saw one Mr Lon Chaney yes he was walking he was gallivanting with the Queen and her retinue yes and I wondered whether their bodies were in a performance a stark imitation of the Werewolf of London but lo also saw I Mr Lon Chaney Junior and he too even he in the midnight hour was with the Queen my God together they engaged in the act and I thought it must be but no it couldn’t be yet it was in that moment it could only be the Werewolf of London and deep the marrow of my bones the very bones he himself would crack in his maw if he could I felt the darkest howl in the dark eventide and beheld I a werewolf solitary at Trader Vic’s lost amongst the tiki the tapa the torches the lagoons the lava and what was it he held to his lips but O a piña colada and a dollop of foam remained the fur of his upperlip and perfect was his hair his hair was perfect and when have you ever seen something like that you cant remember can you and aaaooo he said aaaooo Aaaoooooo.”

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