Big cowboy boots
A woman went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she’d ever seen.
The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed.
The cowboy grinned and said, ‘Shore is, little lady. Why don’t you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?’
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, ‘Well, thankee, ma’am. Ah’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.’
‘Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit’.
Thanks Krisgo
Irish birth control
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.
The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?’
She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’
The Father asked, ‘And be there any wee little ones yet?’
She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’
The Father said, ‘Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.’
She replied, ‘Oh, thank ye, Father.’
They then parted ways. Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, ‘Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?’
She replied, ‘Oh, very well, Father!’
The Father asked, ‘And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?’
She replied, ‘Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!’
The Father said, ‘That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?’
She replied, ‘E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.’
Thanks Fabian
Animated avatars
I created this animated avatar of myself. The eyes aren’t right nor is the hair. But it’s got my nose and mouth right. You can make them do different animations.
Here’s one of me dancing.
Create your own animated avatar at avatara.com.