Budweiser
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart and the husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their shopping cart.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife.
‘They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,’ he replies.
‘Put them back, we can’t afford them,’ demands the wife and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the shopping cart.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the husband.
‘Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,’ replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: ‘So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the price.
Thanks Gene
Drinks are on me!!!
The luck just keeps flowing my way. I am so lucky to find out today that I’m the beneficiary of the late Engr.Jürge Krügger of England. He left me the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars ($30,100.000.00USD). Upon reading the letter it appears that I must use the funds to “help the poor and needy in our society”. I was hoping to just blow it all…. maybe take all the Bits & Pieces readers on a Hawaiian vacation. Hardly seems worth the effort to respond now. 
TERRY THOMPSON & ASSOCIATES CHAMBERS
Address:33 Bedford Row
London WC1R 4JH, England.
PARTNER MANAGING
TERRY THOMPSON & ASSOCIATES
LONDON – UK.Attention:On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the Estate of Late
Engr.Jürge Krügger.I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter was
returned undelivered. I wish to notify you that late Engr.Jürge Krügger made
you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Thirty Million, One
Hundred Thousand Dollars ($30,100.000.00USD) to you in the Codicil and last
testament to his WILL.This may sound strange and unbelievable to you,
but it is real and true. Being a widely travelled man, he must have been in
contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by
one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good.Engr. Jürge Krügger until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society
and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers. According to him
this money is to support your humanitarian activities and to help the poor
and the needy in our society.Please if I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavor
to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. I hope
to hear from you in no distant time.Note:You are advise to contact me with my personal email below:
Email:[email protected]
Yours in Service,
BARRISTER TERRY THOMPSON.
PRINCIPAL PARTNERS: Barrister Aidan Walsh Esq, Markus Wolfgang,
Mr.John Marvey Esq, Mr.Jerry Smith Esq.
You wouldn’t think that a prestgious lawfirm would have a hotmail address… but I’m sure it’s on the up and up. I also couldn’t find them by doing a Google search, but I’m sure I must have mistyped the name or something.
Mars vs Venus
HER DIARY:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.
Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY:
Harley wouldn’t start today, but at least I got laid.
Thanks Jody
Wordle – It’s like a puzzle
Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes. The images you create with Wordle are yours to use however you like. You can print them out, or save them to the Wordle gallery to share with your friends.
Try Wordle
