Politics
Qualities of leadership
Can you imagine working at the following Company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics:
29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have bankrupted at least two businesses
3 have been arrested for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are current defendants in lawsuits
84 were stopped for drunk driving
Can you guess which organization this is?
It’s the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that perpetually cranks out hundreds upon hundreds of new laws designed to keep the rest of us in line.
This just in from the psych ward…
…the staff at the mental facility treating John Hinckley reports intercepting the following letter from Bill Clinton:
To: John Hinckley
From: Bill Clinton
Dear John,
Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country’s new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a bilateral consensu s of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land.
Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. Hillary and I are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.
Best wishes,
Bill Clinton
PS: Barack Obama is banging Jodie Foster.
Free Kittens
Little Suzy had a box of very small kittens that she was trying to give away, so she had them out on the street corner with a sign reading ‘FREE KITTENS’ next to them.
Suddenly a big line of big black cars came up with a policeman on a motorcycle in front. The cars all stopped and a tall man stepped out from the biggest car.
‘Hi’ little girl, I’m Senator Obama. What do you have there in the box?’ he asked.
‘Kittens’ Little Suzy says. ‘They’re so small, their eyes are not even open yet.’
‘What kind of kittens are they?’ he asked.
‘Democrats’ says Little Suzy.
The tall man smiled, returned to his car and they drove away.
Sensing a good photo opportunity, Sen. Obama called his campaign manager and told him about the little girl and the kittens.
It was planned that they would return the next day, have all the media there and tell everyone about these great kittens.
The next day, Little Suzy is standing out on the corner with her box of kittens with the ‘FREE KITTENS’ sign and the big motorcade of black cars pulled up with all the vans and trucks from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.
Everyone had their cameras ready and then, Senator Obama got out of his limo and walked up to Little Suzy.
‘Now, don’t be frightened,’ he said, ‘I just want you to tell all these nice news people just what kind of kittens you’re giving away today.’
‘Yes sir,’ Suzy said, ‘They are all REPUBLICAN kittens.’
Taken by surprise, Senator Obama said, ‘But yesterday, you told me that they were DEMOCRATS.’
Little Suzy says, ‘Yes, I know. But today, they have their eyes open.’
Thanks Gene
Democratic primary quiz
Of course if you’re strictly Republican you’ll find this an exercise in stupidity.
What is a billion?
What is a billion?
This is too true to be funny.
The next time you hear a politician use the word ‘billion’ in a casual manner, think about whether you want the ‘politicians’ spending YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.
A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let’s take a look at New Orleans It’s amazing what you can learn with some simple division:
Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans.
Interesting number, what does it mean?
A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman and child), you each get $516,528.
B. Or if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home gets $1,329,787.
C. Or if you are a family of four , your family gets $2,066,012.
Washington, D.C .. HELLO!!! … Are all your calculators broken??
> > Accounts Receivable Tax
> > Building Permit Tax
> > CDL License Tax
> > Cigarette Tax
> > Corporate Income Tax
> > Dog License T ax
> > Federal Income Tax
> > Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
> > Fishing License Tax
> > Food License Tax
> > Fuel Perm it Tax
> > Gasoline Tax
> > Hunting License Tax
> > Inheritance Tax
> > Inventory Tax
> > IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
> > IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
> > Liquor Tax
> > Luxury Tax
> > Marriage License Tax
> > Medicare Tax
> > Property Tax
> > Real Estate Tax
> > Service charge taxes
> > Social Security Ta x
> > Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
> > Sales Taxes
> > Recreational Vehicle Tax
> > School Tax
> > State Income Tax
> > State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
> > Telephone Federal Excise Tax
> > Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
> > Telephone Federal, State and Local Su rcharge Tax
> > Telephone Minimum Usage Su rcharge Tax
> > Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
> > Telephone State and Local Tax
> > Telephone Usage Charge Tax
> > Utility Tax
> > Vehicle License Registration Tax
> > Vehicle Sales Tax
> > Watercraft Registration Tax
> > Well Permit Tax
> > Workers Compensation Tax
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened? Can you spell ‘politicians!’
Thanks Gene