Internet

Best ‘Out of Office’ Automatic e-mail Replies

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1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
 
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

 3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
 
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
 
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
 
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
 
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.  You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
 
8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Dave.

Thanks Gene

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Two signs – Different results

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A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.” There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”

The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.”

What he had written was: “Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.”

Both signs told people the boy was blind. While the first sign simply said the boy was blind, the second sign pointed the fortunate ones to their positive possibilities.

Moral of the Story:  Be thankful for what you have.  Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. Invite the people towards good with wisdom.

 

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