Here are some classic punchlines. You know the jokes.
- Rectum? Damn killed him!
- I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?
- This time you hold the pigeon down and I’ll crap on it’s head.
- Aren’t you a little bit old to be believin’ in Leprechauns then?
- We’re the Aristocrats!
- That dog’s not so shaggy
- Doctor: “Okay, you’re ugly too”.
- Frayed knot
- Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
- They chip their teeth.
- There’s WhiteOut on the screen
- Watching your mother-in-law drive your brand new car off a cliff
- But Mabel – it’s eating POPCORN!
- Not so tough now are you Batman!!
- Well wash your hands, I want a grilled cheese sandwich.
I know most of these. A couple are kind of fuzzy.
My favourite is missing.
Why do you ask Two Dogs F@*king?
You don’t bury survivors.
OK I give up. Where’s the boat?
Yeah. Your face and my arse.
I found your pack of cigarettes. By the way, has anyone seen my parakeet?
Hey Ma! Are you still awake?
The Chicken takes a drag on a cigarette and says, “well, I guess that answers that, then.”
The priest thinks for a second and replies….”do we have enough time?”
Nothing. You already told her twice.
How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
It’s not just one, there’re hundreds of’em.
Arrrr. And it’s drivin’ me nuts!
An Amish drive-by shooting.
The priest replies “No, but it should wipe that self satified smirk off your face.”
They both have boy’s shorts half-off.
for Bitsy…
A stick.
The fridge doesn’t fart when you take the meat out.
No you idiot, I meant her legs, they’re finally together.
DJ, do you perform stand up?
Me…in my lucky raincoat.
When she has a tampon behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.
No, Boca Dude, but I sit down extremely well.
A morning DJ (!) out of Detroit that I used to listen to would have a punchline call-in day every few months and I could barely function I was laughing so hard. LOVE punchlines!
Stoppenzemfloppen.
Urinate, but if you had bigger boobies you’d be a ten.
“Then I wouldn’t have a siren would I?”
I thought that the first was a stand-along punchline, which existed in absence of an actual joke?
so they know which end to wipe.