Bear hunting

Stephen_Colbert_and_BearSteve was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Right after, there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, “That was my cousin and you’ve got two choices … Either I maul you to death or we have sex.”

After considering briefly, Steve decided to accede to the latter alternative. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Steve soon recovered and vowed revenge.

He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, “That was a big mistake, Steve. That was my cousin and you’ve got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex.” Again, Steve thought it was better to cooperate.

Although he survived, it took several months before Steve finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him very sadly and said, “Admit it, Steve, you don’t come here for the hunting, do you?”

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Note Name changed to match the photo.

4 thoughts on “Bear hunting”

  1. Did the guy in the picture strike some sort of deal with the polar bear and that’s why he goes by the name Steven Cold-bear?

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