Month: March 2008

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.  She says hello.  He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.
 
So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”
 
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party, that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???”

She looks into his eyes and says calmly,
 
 “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”

Thanks Joe P

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Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting and an old guy said: Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket I went up to him and said, “Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break”?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a “Nazi.” He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a “doughnut eating Gestapo.” He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said “Hillary in ‘08.” I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.

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