Month: March 2008

He said, She said…

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He said… I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.

She said…You wear briefs, don’t you?

He said… Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?

She said…Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

He said… Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted to make love to you in the worst way.

She said…Well, you have succeeded.

He said… You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

She said…No, have you?

He said… Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?

She said…Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

He said… Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.

She said…Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

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Letters Dear Abby is at a loss on how to answer….

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Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave  their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
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Dear Abby,  What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?
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Dear Abby, I have a man I can’t trust. He cheats so much, I’m  not even sure the baby I’m carrying is his.
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Dear Abby, I am a  twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two  years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boy friend should share half the cost but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.
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Dear Abby, I’ve suspected that my husband has been fooling around and, when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
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Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is  taking Judo. Why would a boy who was in a good Christian home turn against  his own?
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Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen  it. Now how do I get out?
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Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half  years. He must be crazy.
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Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.
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Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause.
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Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

Thanks Gene

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Black and White TV

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Bw tv(Under age 40? You won’t understand.) You could hardly see for all the snow, Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go. Pull a chair up to the TV set, “Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet.” Depending on the channel you tuned, You got Andy and Opie – or Ward and June. It felt so good. It felt so right. Life looked better in black and white.

I Love Lucy, The Real McCoy’s, Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys, Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train, Superman, Jimmy and Lois Lane. Father Knows Best, Patty Duke, Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too, Donna Reed on Thursday night! — Life looked better in black and white.

I wanna go back to black and white. Everything always turned out right. Simple people, simple lives… Good guys always won the fights. Now nothing is the way it seems, In living color on the TV screen. Too many murders, too many fights, I wanna go back to black and white.

In God they trusted, alone in bed, they slept, A promise made was a promise kept. They never cussed or broke their vows.

They’d never make the network now. But if I could, I’d rather be In a TV town in ‘53. It felt so good. It felt so right. Life looked better in black and white.

I’d trade all the channels on the satellite, If I could just turn back the clock tonight To when everybody knew wrong from right. Life was better in black and white!

More on Black & White TV

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