The marshmallow experiment is a famous test conducted by Walter Mischel at Stanford University. Kids are given a marshmallow and told they can have one now, or if they wait, they will get a second one in a few minutes.
The surrogate father
An oldie but a goodie….
Making a baby
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, ‘Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.’
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ‘Good morning, Ma’am’, he said, ‘I’ve come to….’
‘Oh, no need to explain,’ Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, ‘I’ve been expecting you.’
‘Have you really?’ said the photographer. ‘Well, that’s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?’
‘Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.
After a moment she asked, blushing, ‘Well, where do we start?’
‘Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.’
‘Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!’
‘Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.’
‘My, that’s a lot!’, gasped Mrs. Smith..
‘Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be In and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.’
‘Don’t I know it,’ said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. ‘This was done on the top of a bus,’ he said.
‘Oh, my God!’ Mrs.. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
‘And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.’
‘She was difficult?’ asked Mrs.. Smith.
‘Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look’
‘Four and five deep?’ said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement..
‘Yes’, the photographer replied. ‘And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.’
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. ‘Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh…equipment?’
‘It’s true, Ma’am, yes.. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away…’
‘Tripod?’
‘Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in the hand very long.’
Mrs. Smith fainted
Thanks Gene
How bad is the economy?
The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
It’s so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
The economy is so bad that CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
The economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
The economy is so bad McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
The economy is so bad Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting..
The economy is so bad Motel 6 won’t leave the light on anymore.
The economy is so bad the Mafia is laying off judges.
The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
And finally…
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
Thanks Gene
Gus update
By popular request….
Gus is doing OK. We’ve had him for a month now and it seems like he’s been getting a little better. He now will sometimes go through the front door… if you’re right there at his side. But every once in a while he’ll just freeze outside and won’t go through. You have to pick him up and carry him through. He’s pretty much had the full run of the house. He sleeps in the bedroom, starts out on the bed at the foot then after a while he jumps down and sleeps very well in his little dog bed by the chair.
And he’ll go downstairs on his own… a or he has 2 or 3 times. But only after you’ve been down there for a while and keep calling him. After a half hour or so he’ll come down. But he likes it upstairs the best. So we can see some signs of improvement.
Until last night….
Last night we went out for a few hours and put him in his crate. When we got home he had overturned his water bowl (never done before) and I couldn’t see his food bowl. I eventually found it under his bed. When you open the crate door most dogs would shoot out of there like lightning. Not Gus. He just sits in there for a while then maybe takes a step or two out.
All day today, he’s been acting like he’s mad at me. He’s starting to warm up…as much as Gus warms up anyway. Which isn’t too much.