A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray.”And what will your third wish be?”
The man looked at the genie and said, “Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven’t had a first or second wish yet?”
“You have had two wishes already,” the genie said, “but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus,you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left.”
“Okay,” said the man, “I don’t believe this, but what the heck. I’ve always wanted to understand women. I’d love to know what’s going on inside their heads.”
“Funny,” said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever, “That was your first wish, too!”
A man studied the menu long and hard, and finally turned to the waiter for help.
When I were a lad, Momma would send me down to t’corner store wi’ a dollar, and I’d come back wi’ five pounds o’ potatoes, two loaves o’ bread, three pints o’ milk, a pound o’ cheese, a packet o’ tea, an’ ‘alf a dozen eggs.