The farmer and the DEA agent

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A DeaDEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher says, “Okay, but do not go in that field over there,” as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, ” Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. “See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish . . . on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”

The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

 A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull . . .

Bull

  With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he’ll get gored before he reaches safety.  The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs . . .

“Your badge. Show him your BADGE!”

Thanks Denny

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Everything you ever wanted to know about ketchup

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  • Ketchup head297% of American homes keep ketchup in their kitchen.
  • Each person eats about 3 bottles a year.
  • A tablespoon of ketchup has 16 calories and no fat.
  • 4 tablespoons of ketchup have the nutritional value of an entire ripe, medium tomato.
  • As with wines, there are good and bad ketchup years depending on how sweet and flavorful the tomato harvest.
  • Most brands are made from tomato paste or tomato concentrate, boiled down in late summer when tomatoes are harvested, and used throughout the year to cook the final product.
  • Ketchup made in summer is made directly from ripe tomatoes.
  • Ketchup is great for restoring the glow to copper pots and pans. The acid in ketchup removes tarnish and brings out the shine.
  • In the 18th and 19th century, ketchup was a generic term used for various sauces whose only common ingredient was vinegar.
  • There is more to ketchup than just tomato ketchup. Some of the many varieties that have been popular include lobster, walnut, mushroom, cucumber, cranberry, oyster, lemon, grape, and anchovy.
  • Heinz ketchup was introduced in 1876 as a “Blessed relief for Mother and the other women in the household!”
  • Heinz sells more than 50% of the ketchup sold in the U.S.\
  • Unopened bottles of ketchup can be stored for 1 year on a cool, dark, dry shelf. Tightly covered opened bottles will last a month in a cool, dark, dry place.
  • Richard Nixon liked ketchup on his cottage cheese.
  • Tomato Catsup has a high acid content (due to both the tomatoes and vinegar in it) and therefore does not have to be refrigerated after opening. It is safe to store it at room temperature, but it will taste better if kept refrigerated.
  • Sales of Salsa overtook Ketchup sales in 1991 (in terms of dollar value).

OK, that wasn’t everything… More ketchup info here

Thanks Nick

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