Sometimes one movie sequel is too many. There are ten movies listed in the quiz. You task is to guess how many movie sequels there were to each film?
Quiz
Pregnancy Q & A
Here are a few answers to commonly asked pregnancy questions by both men and women. First, the questions from women:
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.
And, from men:
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Only if the words “alimony” and “child support” scare you.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Simple quiz
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can’t take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let’s find out just how clever you really are….
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question, but don’t take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You’re not very good at this, are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you’ll get the last question right…. ….Maybe.
Fourth Question:
Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn’t.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and! the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
He just has to open his mouth and ask…
It’s really very simple…. Like you!
Thanks Joe P
The Idiot Test
I got 16 out of 20 correct.
Get a pencil and write down your answers.
Scoring guide:
20 Correct – Genius
17 Correct – Above Normal
15 Correct – Normal
8 Correct – Nincompoop
6 Correct – Moron
3 Correct – Idiot
Questions:
1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar’s sister, but the beggar is not the woman’s brother. How come?
5. Why can’t a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
6. How many outs are there in an inning?
7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow’s sister? Why?
8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by, what color is the bear? Why?
11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the coins?
13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first?
14. How far can a dog run into the woods?
15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5′ 10” tall. What does he weigh?
19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
20. What was the President’s name in 1950?
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Answers: (Click and drag between the lines to see the answers)
1. Yes.
2. One.
3. All of them (12).
4. The beggar is her sister.
5. He can’t be buried if he isn’t dead.
6. 6
7. No — because he is dead.
8. They aren’t playing each other.
9. 70
10. White. The house is at the North Pole so it is a polar bear.
11. 2
12. 50 cent piece and a nickel. (One is a nickel, the *other* one isn’t.)
13. The match.
14. Half-way, then he’s running out of the woods.
15. 1 hour.
16. 9
17. None — Noah took them on the ark, not Moses.
18. Meat.
19. 12
20. The same as it is now.
How’d you do?
Q&A for the AARP generation
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore——-under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: ‘And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt.’
Q : How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly—–wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: ‘Gosh, I remember these.’
Thanks Gene
Yankee or Dixie quiz
How do you talk? How do you say different things?
Check on your dialect and see if you might have crossed over to the “other side”! Simply click on the correct answer. As you go, the quiz will automatically interpret each answer to show you what your answer implies about you. When you are done, press Compute My Score. Your score will be calculated as a percentage: 0% is pure Yankee and 100% is pure Dixie.
My score: 58% (Dixie). Barely into the Dixie category.
Thanks Joe P
