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A young journalist…
A young journalism student was assigned to write a human interest story. He went into the mountains to do some research. There, he found an old farmer sitting on his porch, introduced himself, and explained his mission.
The young man asked, “Has anything ever happened around here that made you really happy?”
After a moment, the farmer said, “Yeah, one time my neighbor’s daughter, a fine looking gal, got lost. We formed a posse and found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home.”
“I can’t print that!” the young man exclaimed. “Can’t you think of anything else that happened that made you happy?”
The farmer thought for a minute and smiled, “Yep! One time a neighbor’s sheep got lost. We formed a posse and found it. Then we all screwed it, and then took it back home.”
Again, the young man said, “I can’t print that, either. Let’s try another approach. Has anything ever happened around here that made you really sad?”
The old farmer dropped his head as if he were ashamed, and after a few seconds he looked up timidly at the young man and said,
“This one time, I got lost.”
Family forced to dress snowoman
It was supposed to be a bit of fun during recent heavy snow, but one family’s snow sculpture has earned a frosty reception.
Maria Conneran and her family had worked hard to create their armless, nude snow lady in the front garden of their home in Rahway, New Jersey.
But despite several compliments on their chilly version of the Venus de Milo, the family were forced to cover up her blushes after complaints from other residents.
Squirrel banned from riding roller coaster
The rodent was said to be causing headaches for operators at Alton Towers by getting in the way of improvement work on an attraction at the resort.
Workers noticed it riding the revamped Sonic Spinball roller coaster as it was tested in the mornings and joining visitors who were offered an early go on it before the official opening.
The grey-haired animal was also caught stealing food from the workers.
A spokesman for the Staffordshire theme park said: ”It was getting in the way of builders who were painting.
”They couldn’t carry on because they would end up with paw prints in the paint.
”And we can’t have anything on the track when the roller coaster is going round.”
Alarms were installed that emit a warning noise inaudible to human ears but designed to ensure the squirrel, nicknamed Sonic, avoids the ride in future.
Morwenna Angove, sales and marketing director at the Alton Towers resort, said: ”Unfortunately Sonic’s behaviour is a danger both to our guests and himself and so we’re doing all we can to ensure that he stays away from the ride.
”Banning a squirrel from a roller coaster is certainly unusual but I suppose there’s a first time for everything.”
The Sonic Spinball ride officially opened to the public yesterday to coincide with the start of the February half term.