News

Don’t believe everything you read

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Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter 
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.    

I just couldn’t help but send this along. Too funny.   
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
      Really? Ya think? 
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers  
       Now that’s taking things a bit far! 

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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over  
       What a guy!   
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death 
 No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s! 
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant  
See if that works any better than a fair trial! 
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War Dims Hope for Peace  
 I can see where it might have that effect! 
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 If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 
   Ya think?! 
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures  
      Who would have thought! 
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide   
They may be on to something! 
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges  
      You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape? 
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge  
     He probably IS the battery charge! 
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group  
Weren’t they fat enough?! 
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft  
That’s what he gets for eating those beans! 
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks  
       Do they taste like chicken?
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   Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half  
       Chainsaw Massacre all over again! 
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors  
       Boy, are they tall! 
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And the winner is….  
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead  
  
     Did I read that right? 

Thanks Gene

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Cat ‘comes back to life’ 9 months after burial

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ResurrectedThey say cats have nine lives – but no one seriously expects them to come back from the dead.

Yet that is what Alfie the ginger tom appeared to have done nine months after apparently being killed by a car.

Owner Angelo Petrillo buried what he believed to be his pet’s battered body after a friend spotted it on the side of a road near his home.

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Injured dog checks himself into hospital

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The patient was only slightly injured when he limped into a hospital in the northwest New Mexico city of Farmington. The only problem was, he was a dog.

When the automatic doors at San Juan Regional Medical Centre’s emergency room slid open Saturday night, the pooch walked in, blood on his nose and paw, and a puncture hole in one leg, according to The Daily Times newspaper.

Animal control officer Robin Loev responded to a call from the hospital and suspects the puncture wound was from the bite of another dog.

Loev says the German shepherd mix appeared to be intelligent and calm – and knew enough to go to the right place.

The animal was taken to the Farmington Animal Shelter and claimed by its owner.

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