Funny
Right wing chicken math?
KFC Is Sneaking Extra Profit From Bigger Orders
Most places discount items when purchased in larger quantities.
If you’re planning on buying some Hot Wings from KFC in Colorado Springs, Colorado, your cheapest option is to buy them in sets of six no matter how many you want. KFC charges you slightly more per wing as you buy more—”Guess they just hope nobody’s good at quick math,” one reader writes.
The laws of life…
Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes) the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
Oliver’s Law A closed mouth gathers no feet .
Wilson’s Law As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (This one is true every time!)
Doctors’ Law If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.. (This one is also true every time.)
Thanks Gene
Q&A on retirement
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep in the recliner.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing Saturday & Sunday I rest.
Thanks Max