Thanks Gene
Education
Teachers vs Educators
According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria, BC recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of year 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers, and then there are educators.
Thanks Chi Phui
Science for the simple mind
Terms
Relativity: Family get-togethers at Christmas.
Gravity: Strength of a glass of beer.
Time travel: Throwing the alarm clock at the wall.
Black holes: What you get in black socks.
Critical mass: A gaggle of film reviewers.
Hyperspace: Where you park at the superstore.
Facts
Gravity was discovered by Sir Isaac Newton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. When planets do it, we say they are orbitting.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.
The moon is more useful than the sun, because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the sun shines during the day when you don’t need it.
To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.
Isn’t it meaningless to speak of a 45 degrees angle unless you specify Fahrenheit or Celcius?
An object at rest will always be in the wrong place. An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Doppler effect is the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.