Beware the lonely old woman

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who just died recently.”

“I’m very sorry,” replied the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes,” she said, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother!’ ? It would make me feel so much better.”

“Sure,” answered the young man.

As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye, Mother!”

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.

“How can that be?” he asked, “I only purchased a few things!”

“Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.

via

Retired people have way too much free time

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, a friend of mine and his wife went into town and visited a shop.

When they came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. They went up to him and said, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’

He ignored them and continued writing the ticket.

My friend called him an “asshole” . He glared at him and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So his wife called him a “shit head”. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more they abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then their bus arrived, and they got on it and went home.

thanks, John Miller (RIP)