Well, unfortunately, the time has come for my routine colonoscopy. I’m scheduled for 7:30 tomorrow morning. So, today the fun part begins. No solid food, just broth and Jello. I didn’t realize how unfilling chicken broth is. I’m waiting for the laxatives I took a couple hours ago to kick in… or should that be kick out?
I just mixed up a gallon of goop that I have to drink in the next couple of hours to clean out my system. Fortunately the bathroom is about ten feet from my computer. So, I’ll be posting off and on for the next few hours. I’ll either be on the pot and off the ‘puter or on the ‘puter and off the pot.
Top 12 Joys During a Colonoscopy Examination
12. The pre-show cleansing — known at my house as “The Bottomless Spit.”
11. There’s nothing to hit the fan.
10. Anal probe makes you eligible for guest appearance on “South Park.”
9. Crack navigation provides little chance of colliding with iceberg.
8. Zany rectal air hose makes you feel you can fly over Macy’s parade.
7. Any loose change found is yours!
6. Sedatives hallucination transforms doctor into Jim Henson and you’re a Muppet.
5. Don’t need to wear dress-up clothes to get pictures taken. Eight-by-10s and wallets prescribed and autographed by physician.
4. That’s you on the video monitor — and, no, you don’t have tunnel vision.
3. Intestinal muscle spasms taped for MTV.
2. You have a textbook colon. The bad news: You can only use a school potty.
And the number one joy during a colonoscopy examination:
Medical team refers to you as “The Outback Snakehouse.”
Some more colonoscopy humor… for those in the mood.
Dave Barry’s Colonoscopy Journal
Exploring where no man has gone before
Remember Jonco…during the procedure, when the exam is at it’s most intense, if you feel BOTH of the doctors hands on your shoulders, it’s best to get a second opinion.
In the immortal words of Bob Hope: “Thanks for the memories…!”.
Oh, but the demorol is SO nice!!!!!!
Hope all turned out well! I’ve been there, my brother!
You’ll be fine. What color are your sheets (today)?
DAYUM that sounds bad I gotta get one next year damn it,I always heard the crap to clean you out is the worst part,but on the plus side the meds sound pretty good
My hubby just had his last Friday. He’s clean as a whistle and the
pictures came out great!