While I like candy corn, I am not sure this should be legal.
Every Halloween-time I retell to somebody somewhere the story of the first time I threw up in public. It involves candy corn. There was some in a big glass bowl on a table to the left of the door as I came into class in second grade. I said, “What is this?” Somebody said, “It’s for everyone.” I said, “But what /is/ it?” They said, “It’s good. It’s candy.” It looked like a bowl of rotten teeth.
I picked up a single one, put it in my mouth. It was like biting a candle and– uh-oh– I ran out, down the hall, into the lavatory. I don’t remember if I made it to the toilet or the wash trough or the trash can there to throw up. I kind of remember making it in through the lav door. I’m pretty sure of that part.
Later I read about wax teeth. I thought that was what they meant. It turned out that there is a kind of candy that’s shaped like a set of dentures, made out of the same candy candle wax but, even knowing that, whenever I see candy corn the first thing I think is simultaneously the name of it imprinted on my brain, /wax teeth/, and /bleagh/.
The image of pizza with wax teeth melted into it is perfect for Halloween. Horrible. Horrible.
The candy corn with honey is the better type.
Keep that in mind if you ever try to venture near candy corn again.
While I like candy corn, I am not sure this should be legal.
Every Halloween-time I retell to somebody somewhere the story of the first time I threw up in public. It involves candy corn. There was some in a big glass bowl on a table to the left of the door as I came into class in second grade. I said, “What is this?” Somebody said, “It’s for everyone.” I said, “But what /is/ it?” They said, “It’s good. It’s candy.” It looked like a bowl of rotten teeth.
I picked up a single one, put it in my mouth. It was like biting a candle and– uh-oh– I ran out, down the hall, into the lavatory. I don’t remember if I made it to the toilet or the wash trough or the trash can there to throw up. I kind of remember making it in through the lav door. I’m pretty sure of that part.
Later I read about wax teeth. I thought that was what they meant. It turned out that there is a kind of candy that’s shaped like a set of dentures, made out of the same candy candle wax but, even knowing that, whenever I see candy corn the first thing I think is simultaneously the name of it imprinted on my brain, /wax teeth/, and /bleagh/.
The image of pizza with wax teeth melted into it is perfect for Halloween. Horrible. Horrible.
The candy corn with honey is the better type.
Keep that in mind if you ever try to venture near candy corn again.