Here are a few answers to commonly asked pregnancy questions by both men and women. First, the questions from women:
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.
And, from men:
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Only if the words “alimony” and “child support” scare you.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
