On Tesco’s – Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — ‘Do not turn upside down.’
On Sainsbury’s peanuts — ‘Warning:contains nuts’
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — ‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.’ (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding — ‘Product will be hot after heating.’ (…and you thought????…)
On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping. (That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap — ‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’ (and that would be???….)
On some Swanson frozen dinners — ‘Serving suggestion: Defrost.’ (but, it’s just a suggestion.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron — ‘Do not iron clothes on body.’ (but wouldn’t this save me time?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid — ‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’ (..I’m taking this because???….)
On most brands of Christmas lights — ‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’ (as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor — ‘Not to be used for the other use.’ (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts — ‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’ (Step 3: say what?)
On a child’s Superman costume — ‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’ (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw — ‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’ (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Thanks Kev & Sue
HAHA !!
I work for Rowenta…and sure enough it says that….!!
It also appears on the Steamers instructions, you’d be surprised at how many people try steaming their clothes while they’re wearing them…”it was too hot and I got burnt because of your product”. I need compensation in the amount of $12,000″…..and what? they won’t feel the pain?? Duh !!!
Several lives ago I was working as a shipping clerk and general gopher. One day the owner came back to the shipping area with a bent-nose in a really expensive looking suit.
Pretty soon it comes to light that the visit is about the fact that while the tops of boxes said “THIS SIDE UP”, and each for the four sides one each box had “UP” printed repeatedly around the the top edge above an equal number if arrows pointing to the words “UP” and the top of the box, the bottoms of the boxes simply said “THIS BOX IS UPSIDE DOWN, STUPID”.
It appears the bent-nose was upset about the bottom markings as insulting to mdock-workers and truck drivers.
The conversation chilled markedly when I asked the owner how bent-nose knew what the bottoms said.
I never did find out for sure who he was, but I suspect he was a union rep.