Happy Mother’s Day

It was 13 years ago today that I lost my Mom …. May 11, 1995.  In some ways it just seems a short while ago… and then in other ways it seems like so much longer ago.  It’s during the holidays and their birthdays when I think most about my parents. 

May 11th was a Friday in 1995.  We had the funeral visitation for my mom on Mother’s Day (Sunday) that year.  I told some visiting friends of mine that they probably bought their moms a plant for Mother’s Day… but I was going to “plant” my mom.  The old sense of humor never really goes away.

Anyway… I just want to wish all the Bits & Pieces reader-moms…..  a very…..

…Happy Mother’s Day

Somebody said…
 Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby….
somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, ‘normal’ is  history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct …
somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring …..
somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.

Somebody said if you’re a’good’ mother, your child will ‘turn out good’….
somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother….
somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can’t love the second child as much as you love the first ….
somebody doesn’t have two children.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery….
somebody never watched her ‘baby’ get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten …. or on a plane headed for military ‘boot camp.’

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married….
somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home….
somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her….
somebody isn’t a mother.

Real Mothers…
Real Mothers don’t eat quiche; they don’t have t ime to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn’t come out of shag carpets.
Real Mothers don’t want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask ‘Why me?’ and get their answer when a little voice says, ‘Because I love you best.’
Real Mothers know that a child’s growth is not measured by height or years or grade…  It is marked by the progression of Momma to Mom to Mother…

4 YEARS OF AGE – My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE – My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE – My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE – Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE – Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE – That old woman? She’s way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE – Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE – Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE – Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE – Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she  lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty  of a woman with passing years only grows!

Things I learned from Mom…
1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me about LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me about FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

6. My mother taught me about IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

7. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

8. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it.”

9. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

10. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

11. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

12. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

13. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

14. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

15. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

16. My mother taught me about ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you’ll be cold?”

17. My mother taught me about HUMOR.
“When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

18. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

19. My mother taught me about GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

20. My mother taught me about WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.

21. My mother taught me about SHARING.
” I’m going to give you a piece of my mind!”

22. My mother taught me about FEAR.
“One day you’ll have a child who’ll do the same things to you.”

Thanks to all the usual suspects