Things you don’t hear anymore

Gas stationBe sure to refill the ice trays, we’re going to have company.

Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today 

Quit slamming the screen door when you go out  !

Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.

Don’t forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.

Wash your feet before you go to bed, you’ve been playing outside all day barefooted.

Why can’t you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle Chain so many times is tearing them up.

You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on. 

Don’t you go outside with your school clothes on!

Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.

Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new  bottle.

Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won’t have to pay a deposit on another one.

Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won’t get on it.

Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don’t quit!

Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him.

You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off.

There’s a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town. 

Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.

You can walk to the store; it won’t hurt you to get some exercise.

Don’t sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.

If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!

Don’t lose that  button; I’ll sew it back on after awhile.

Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt and sweat all under there.

Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!

Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don’t have to do that tonight in the dark.

Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.

Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.

Don’t turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry comes on.

No! I don’t have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?

Eat those turnips, they’ll make you big and strong like your daddy.

That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don’t care how cold it is out there, dogs don’t stay  in the house.

Sit  still! I’m trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.

Hush your mouth! I don’t want to hear words like that! I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!

It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.

If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you’ll get another one when you get home.

Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!

Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won’t get infected.

When you take your driving test, don’t forget to signal each turn. Left arm straight out the window for a left turn; left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn; and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to stop.

 It’s:  ‘Yes Ma’am!’ and ‘No Ma’am!’ to me, young man, and don’t you forget it!  

Thanks Gene

18 thoughts on “Things you don’t hear anymore”

  1. I still say all theses things, or at least a very close variation of them! Either I am old fashioned or out dated?!

    Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!

    Wash your feet before you go to bed, you’ve been playing outside all day barefooted.

    Don’t you go outside with your school clothes on!

    Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.

    Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won’t get on it.

    Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.

    Don’t sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.

    If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!

    Don’t lose that button; I’ll sew it back on after awhile.

    I still say all these, or a very close variation!

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  2. You would hear a few of those at my house…

    1. We don’t have A/C (normally it’s not too hot here in summer), so the “back door open” isn’t unheard of.

    2. The closest grocery store is four blocks away, so we often walk over to pick up a snack. However we live at the top of a steep hill, so walking back home is most certainly exercise.

    3. Yes, at least two of us can sew a button back on-my son learned how when he was in army cadets!

    4. No ice-maker in our three year old fridge (I’d rather have more space for freezing food)…it’s always annoying when the kids forget to refill the trays and I’m left with one measly ice-cube for my drink.

    5. Sadly, the movie for a dime statement is all too true. I took my daughter out to see “Julie and Julia” last night and between the tickets, two SMALL pops and a small popcorn, my wallet was about 34 bucks lighter. Good thing we enjoyed the movie so much because it sure helps explain why so many people wait to rent the video!!

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  3. hahah so cute.
    Ye Knight is oft to to make trouble with the dragon
    Here be a witch, satan’s bride
    In yonder days of olde we set forth in battle against the enemies of his majesty the king

    hahahahaha

    What else did you guys do back then invent fire? Was entertainment throwing rocks at people who were different? Burn a few people for witchcraft.

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  4. I hear a lot of these things because I spend my weekends/winter break/summers with my grandma at my aunt’s house, and she seems to be under the impression it’s still 1940-something. She tells the best stories, though.

    About the “ma’am” thing – I once read some, like, Dear Abbie letter about a woman who found “ma’am” incredibly offensive because she said it was sexist. How in the world are you supposed to address someone like that if you don’t know her name? “Hey, lady!”? THAT, I find offensive. My father would have smacked me in the mouth if I talked to my mom like that.

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  5. Jonco you are making me feel old,I loved the cream in the glass milk bottles now that was some good milk,I grew up with no ac and it was DAYUM hot in Georgia, yea the box fan blowing hot air was pretty bad,I started driving when I was 12 it was not a problem as I passed maybe three cars on the road and my father was in the car with me,good times back then

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  6. I guess that I’m cheap, but my refrigerator does not have an ice maker (it’s about 34 years old), and my wife cuts my hair, so I get the admonitions about moving my head.

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  7. I cut my brothers’ hair, and I used to cut my ex-boyfriend’s hair–but he never moved his head because he was busy staring at my chest

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  8. One that I remember my Mom saying when I was a kid, as she pulled her ’51 Chevy into the gas station: “Five Dollars or Full, whichever comes first”

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  9. Oh, and I think this one might be regional, but those “beads of sweat and dirt” were always called “Grandma Beads”, as in “Go wash your neck and get those Grandma beads off”. Believe me, as a young boy, that would make me wash well, because I wasn’t about to wear something called “Grandma beads”!

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  10. What was with the “no noise–cake in the oven” thing anyway???
    As I got older, Mom J expanded that to “no noise–I’ve got something in the oven” and then “no noise–I’m cooking” and finally “no noise–I’m making something in the kitchen” even if she was just making a peanut butter sammie.
    Was I getting snookered??

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  11. How about “I hope that when you’re a parent someday, your kids will be just like you’re being now.”
    Dayum, how do I lift this curse???

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  12. We still get our milk in glass bottles. Granted, it’s from a local dairy but it’s damn sure better then this stuff sold at supermarkets these days!

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  13. DJ–when some cakes are baking, if they get shaken (like by a kid jumping around), they could fall. In that case, instead of having a nice, 8″ tall cake, you end up with a 1″ tall hockey puck–and no dessert for dinner.

    Yes, my mom did a lot of baking.

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  14. Lol, maybe i’m an old fashioned bumpkin, but I still say many of these things. Though it does take a much greater effort to live a simple life. We aren’t amish, but I grew up in downtown StL, and when my old friends learn I live on an organic farm now and live “backward” they barely believe it. We even have a well, lol. (ours is pumped electric, at least. real runnin’water, fan-cee!)

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  15. I follow and enjoy several blogs but I never to rarely enter comments. In this case I’d just like to mention that I’m extra enjoying these commements by your readers, Jonco. I like “remembering back” (couldn’t think how to spell ‘reminissing”) because I’m probably in the same age group as many of your readers…Thanks folks!

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