Here’s the least gross of them all:
Fiddler’s Neck
Likely when you think of a violinist you think of an orchestra, a bunch of people in tuxedos and how god awfully bored you’d be if you were sitting there watching a dude who likely has five cats playing violin for a couple of hours. Well, now you can add a new image to that picture in your mind: hideous growths.
The pressure of holding the violin against your neck leads to Fiddler’s Neck, a skin condition complete with scarring, cysts, and pustules. Play the violin long enough, and you can add hyperpigmentation and lichenification to the list.
So not only will you have a prolapsed anus growing out of your neck, but the skin will grow darker, bark-like and as thick as a lizard’s hide, only not as pretty. Part of the cause of Fiddler’s Neck has been attributed to poor hygiene, indicating what we always suspected; musicians are filthy.
Read the 10 bizarre job related illnesses
Don’t forget “flute blowers disease”, one of the basic STD’s.
heh heh heh heh
That might be one sour note, Richard!
I am not sure if this counts but when I worked in a box factory (Yes I did for two months) I start getting this thick set of callouses on the outside of the my left hand’s index finger. I noticed that nearly everyone there had them as well. After that job I start working in a bindery and noticed the same set of callouses. I nicknamed it “cardboard finger” not that gross, but kind of weird.
Did you guys read the rest of the article? It’s called “Chimney Sweep’s Scrotum…”. Cracked is the best.
I used to play in an orchestra and had calluses on the ends of my left hand fingers. All gone now.
I think anyone who plays a string instrument or guitar gets calluses on their left hand fingers. At least, they should. I imagine it would make playing easier and less painful.