1 Sea mammal blowhole. Any animal that spends appreciable time in the ocean should be able to extract oxygen from water via gills. Enlarging the lungs and moving a nostril to the back of the head is a poor work-around.
2 Hyena clitoris. When engorged, this “pseudopenis,” which doubles as the birth canal, becomes so hard it can crush babies to death during exit.
3 Kangaroo teat. In order to nurse, the just-born joey, a frail and squishy jellybean, must clamber up Mom’s torso and into her pouch for a nipple.
4 Giraffe birth canal. Mama giraffes stand up while giving birth, so baby’s entry into the world is a 5-foot drop. Wheeee! Crack.
5 Goliath bird-eating spider exoskeleton. This giant spider can climb trees to hunt very mobile prey. Yet it has a shell so fragile it practically explodes when it falls? Well, at least it can produce silk to make a sail. Oh, wait — it can’t!
6 Shark-fetus teeth. A few shark species have live births (instead of laying eggs). The Jaws juniors grow teeth in the womb. The first sibling or two to mature sometimes eat their siblings in utero. Mmm … siblings.
7 Human stomach. People can digest a lot — except for cellulose, the primary component of plant matter. Why don’t we have commensal bacteria in our guts to do it? They’re busy helping termites.
8 Slug genitalia. Some hermaphroditic species breed by wrapping their sex organs around each other. If one of said members gets stuck, the slug simply chews it off. What. The. Hell?
9 Quadrupeds. Let’s say you’re a four-footed animal. Now let’s say you get a wound on your back, or an itch, or a bug wandering up there. Tough luck, kid. You probably can’t do much about it. Hope there’s a low branch around.
10 Narwhal tusk. The unicorn-like protuberance on a male narwhal’s head is actually a tooth that erupts through the front of the jaw and keeps on growing, up to 9 feet. Narwhal: “Doc, I have a toothache.” Dentist: “Indeed.”
From B&P lurker Chaz’s site ThinkChaz.com
Note: Either he has just started his website or I’m so stupid I can’t figure out how to go to the next page.
Mammals are warm-blooded which means they require a lot more energy to survive. More energy = more oxygen. Water simply doesnt have enough worth extracting if your warm-blooded. Kind of like trying to power your car on alternative fuels it just aint worth it 🙂
These are all so weird that it’s no wonder that all of them are extinct. Oh, wait.
These are only weird from an anthropocentric point of view. We humans tend to think we are the end all and be all of evolution, or worse, design, when the sad fact is we’re only naked apes who dress up and pretend we’re better than other animals simply because we can kill them, or make fun of them.
Nope, Mike,…some of us asprire to be animals.
No, Mike, we’re better than they are because our brains are exceedingly more developed. It’s why we can speak. Speech is what allowed us to evolve as much as we have. It’s what set us apart from the Neanderthals, who, with a few exceptions, died out.
Opposable thumbs, baby.
Quadrupeds don’t have all the back problems we have. Think about that.