“While President Bush was doing his taxes, under dependents he listed Scooter Libby, Tom DeLay and Jack Abramoff. Then he caught himself, ‘Dependents? Oh, I thought it said defendants.'” – Jay Leno
A harp is a piano after taxes.
George Washington never told a lie, but then he never had to file a Form 1040.
Drive carefully. Uncle Sam needs every taxpayer he can get.
A man is in a coffee shop with his son. He lays his change on the table and the little boy starts to play with it. The son puts a quarter in his mouth, which becomes lodged in his throat. He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face and Dad starts panicking, shouting and screaming for help.
A middle-aged, fairly unremarkable man in a gray suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion he looks up, puts his coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds his newspaper and places it on the counter. He gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way across the market. Reaching the boy (who is still standing, but only just) the man takes hold of the kid and squeezes gently but firmly. After a few seconds the boy coughs up the quarter, which the man catches in his free hand.
The man then walks back to his seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son was fine, the father rushes over to the man and starts effusively thanking him. The man looks embarrassed and brushes off the thanks. As he’s about to leave, the father asks one last question. “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before – it was fantastic – what are you, a surgeon or something like that?”
“No” the man replies, “I work for the IRS, getting people to cough it up is my business.
* I R S: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
your money – its theIRS?!??!?!?111