As I sit here at the Tampa airport with a couple of hours to wait before my flight I just think about, as I usually do, if this might be the last time I will ever see my aunt.
Our visits are always very similar. We visit in her room for a while, then we go out to Bob Evans Restaurant, her favorite, for either breakfast or lunch (or sometimes dinner), then we go for a ride to visit her old neighborhood. Occasionally we go by the cemetery where her dad is (above) and where she will be one day in the future. This gives her comfort. We usually drive out to the beach and circle the public park and boat access area overlooking Charlotte Harbor. We never get out of the car there, but she enjoys the ride.
When we visit her old neighborhood I always ask her if she would like to stop and talk with one of her old neighbors, but she always says no, that they’re all gone now. Then she proceeds to tell me things that she’s heard about one of the other of them. So, I’m thinkig they’re not all gone.
Life in her assisted living complex is always interesting. She tells me about who did what and who said what and she’s always wondering what’s going on with the management – “they’re cutting down on the food they serve” or something else. She says that they all treat her well and she likes it there. She points out that many there are there on a free ride from the government and that she’s paying her own way.
While there I usually do some shopping for her, picking up essentials, like paper towel, Vick’s Vapo-Rub, hand lotion, hairspray, toothpaste etc.. I try to get her to go o Wal-Mart with me where she can drive one of those electric carts around but she always says no. I know she’d enjoy it if she’d just do it.
She’s always talking about people and places from her past. Some of the stories I’ve heard numerous times, but I still enjoy them. I know one day that voice will be silenced and I’ll no longer hear those stories. She told me about the love of her life, her first love, Cotton. She told me she still had his picture in her purse. She’s been married twice, but still keeps Cotton’s picture in her wallet. I could tell that he meant so much to her.
She gave me some documents that my mom had sent her about being direct descendants of the Mayflower. We’re related to Isaac Allerton who sailed to America on the Mayflower in 1620 with Miles Standish, John Alden, William Brewster – all names I remember from grade school history.
Words of wisdom from Aunt Iva:
“I don’t take any shit from anybody.” “But they all like me here and I like it here.”
When we were at Bob Evans, she dribbled some food on her shirt and as she was wiping it off she said, “Everything I eat looks good on me.”
“I’m too ornery to die, I’ll probably outlive everybody.”
On another visit to Bob Evans she had a “Western Burrito”. It is a breakfast burrito with eggs, sausage and veggies. It wasn’t to her liking, she heard the word burrito and was thinking it was Mexican with refried beans etc. “Well, that sure wasn’t what I was expecting. I’ll never order that again.” But she scarfed it down pretty well.
There was another really good one his morning but now I can’t remember it. Dang!
Her hearing is not good at all. She wears a hearing aid but it’s still sometimes difficult to communicate with her. Especially when we’re out where there’s a lot of background niose. But she still has her mind. She’s pretty sharp. I can tell she’s not quite as sharp as she once was, but no one is going to put anything over on her. Not bad for 94 – going on 95.
She’s always telling me how appreciative she is of me, and my cousin, and how much she loves me and trusts me. She looked really good to me… better than she has the last few times Ive visited.
I hope to have many more visits with her before she transcends on her next great adventure.
I am not overly sentimental, but that is a wonderful tribune to your Aunt. She has good reason to be appreciative of you.
It’s great that you can go and see your aunt and come back with so many funny thoughts and stories. Long may she reign…
fantastic that at 94 shes got that much spunk. Bless aunt Iva and her wonderful words of wisdom. I can only hope that we all can live that long…
Jonco, what a great story, thank you. I can relate to that. We buried my Aunt Marie yesterday. She was 93 and sounds alot like Aunt Iva, she did not take sh!t from anyone. Have a nice flight.
Klaw, My condolences on your loss. I know it’s just a matter of time… unless she’s right..and she’ll outlive me.
that was a really great story,I didnt know Bob Evans had a restaurant ,DAYUM I wish there was one around here
Thank you, she was my God mother as well. No more suffering for her.
Jonco -You are blessed to appreciate your Aunt while she is aware of it. My mother died in March, but her mind had been totally gone for about a year. No recognition of anyone, even me, her only son. It was really awkward trying to explain to folks that it was a relief that Mom had “gone home”.
Not only funny but a great nephew to boot!! Hope you get in many more visits. Do you fly into the Charlotte County airport? That place is a real throw back!! Keep up the great blog and our prayers are with you and your aunt.
I fly into Tampa usually and dive down. It’s about 90 minutes from there.
That was nice. You are a fine man to visit her so often. There’s probably not a lot to look forward to every day for her, and your visits must be awesome for her.
Sometimes we don’t know what we have until it’s gone. I’m glad you’re able to brighten her life.
I wrote about my 86-year-old Mom’s self-proclaimed “farewell tour” back home last fall…
http://d-jonesy.livejournal.com/5291.html
Jonco – this is my first time commenting although I’ve enjoyed your site for years now. I was really touched by your story about your Aunt. I can just tell that you are a good man and definitely have good karma for your kind deeds. I am often reminded there are good people in this world and it just warms my heart. Carry on….
GULP, DJ thank you for sharing that. We will always have memories.
good man
Thank you- it means a lot to many of us to hear you share your thoughts of her. You are lucky to have each other 🙂
Jonco, you’re a good man. Thank you for sharing your stories about your aunt. She sounds a lot like my wife’s Grandmomma (95 years sweet),and Grandmomma still kicks ass in scrabble. If for no other reason this lady earned my undying devotion, for the handwritten note she sent me shortly after my mother died.
“Dear one
So very sorry about your mother. Know that I pray for your hurt to be healed
by knowing that she is now happy with our Dear Lord.
Grandmomma”
Again, I truly enjoy your posts about aunt Iva, may she have many more good years. And may you keep sharing your stories.
I am so sorry for your loss KLAW. Hugs to you.
I love Aunt Iva stories! You should ask her if she minds you videoing her (with your new camera!) and capture some of those moments and stories. It is a valuable thing to have and I am sure your family would appreciate it. We would too, with Aunt Iva’s permission of course!
Did she ever share the story with you Jonco of why Cotton and your Auntie didn’t continue? Something you may be able to share with us, of course, without breaking her confidence.
I find it interesting, to say the least, as my Grandma always said that she married the wrong
man. They had 5 children and she still mooned for her first love.
helluva long dive.
Awww that was nice Jonco.
Sorry about your aunt KLAW 🙁
Thanks Klaw.
And my sympathies to you.
I can tell you are a good person and probably make a very nice neighbor too,your aunt sounds like fun and could probably teach us all alot about life.
DEAR JONCO, I REALLY LOVED THE GRACIOUS THINGS YOU SAID ABOUT YOUR AUNT. I TOO LIVE IN PORT CHARLOTTE AND AM SOMETIMES EXASPERATED BY THE ELDERLY. BUT THEN, IF YOU STOP AND TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN, BE QUIET AND STILL, THEN YOU KNOW WHY THIS IS CALLED OUR GREATEST GENERATION. CONTINUE TO ENJOY THE TIME YOU HAVE WITH YOUR AUNT, REACH OUT TO AS MANY ELDERS AS YOU DARE. THERE IS SO MUCH INSIDE THEM. HAPPY TRAVELS,
LESLIE. (ONE OF MANY FANS!)
(Originally commented in wrong post – so I moved it here)
Lovely post.
I have a neighbour of 20 years (we even moved house & ended up on the same street) whose husband of 60 odd years died last year while she was in hospital. Although she has a very close and supportive family, they can’t be there all the time so I cover the day-to-day stuff.
This article makes me think maybe I should get her on a train to visit places of her youth. At 86 she won’t be able to manage that soon.
I’ll let you know if we manage it!
I just hope this post makes people look around and wonder if anyone else in the same position would like a similar trip.
Hugs….
You ARE a lucky guy, Jonco; I mean, what with kin in Florida and all. Seriously,very well felt and put
It’s taken me a little while to have time to come read this post, but I’m so happy I did. My relatives live all over the world, and having such large distances between us makes it hard to really get to know them all well. You are very fortunate to have time to appreciate her, and sounds like shes very fortunate to have you too 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
..aww, bless her heart..
Jonco: thanks for sharing the story of Aunt Iva. I agree with the other comments I read – you must be a great man — and I know you are a great brother. I’m really proud of you.
Paul