The ABC’s of PMS

 Mike’s girlfriend sends this along:

ATOMIC – Go ahead.  Try me.  See what happens…
BITCH – This may not be monthly, but it’s obvious now.
CHOCOLATE – Give it to me… in solid, syrup or liquid form.  I don’t care.  Just hand it over or see A.
DEMANDING – I am suffering so I can give life to a little person later.  I deserved to be spoiled. 
ETERNITY – It feels like this lasts this long…
FRIENDS – Other women are needed to empathize.  Men need to stay away.
GROSS – I feel disgusting and dirty and I hate it.
HURT – What I’m going to do to you if you don’t hand over the chocolate.
INGENIOUS – Because I just am.
JUGS – Tender and retaining water.
KLEENEX – To catch my random tears as I eat my chocolate.
LAZY – Because to move is to hurt.
MASTICATE – What I’ll do to the chocolate.
NAUSEOUS – Can’t wait to experience actual morning sickness.
OBESE – How I always feel during this time.
PAINED – Head, stomach, back, legs, body… everywhere aches.
QUACKERS – Because this drives me nuts!
REGURGITATE – What I’ll do after I’ve had too much chocolate.
SLEEPY – My muscles are moving of their own according.  I’m tired.
TYLENOL – My BFF right now.
UPSET – My emotions are at all extremes, but somehow all equal crying.
VIOLENT – Don’t taunt the animal.  Just drop the chocolate and run.
WHINEY – You would too if it felt like the Lord of Dance was dancing on your belly.
XY – The chromosomes of the bastards who don’t have to suffer monthly.
ZIT – Those things that always pop up right before my period.
 
Thanks Mike’s girlfriend

8 thoughts on “The ABC’s of PMS”

  1. I’ll check that out Mike, sounds interesting. It’s not about the Judd’s is it?? That’s gotta be a huge one. infidel, TFMI! Drink bleach, it’ll remind you not to do it again. warning: do not try this at home.

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