Thanksgiving cookbook by Mrs. Geraghty’s kindergarten class
Ivette — Banana Pie: You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it.
Russell — Turkey: You cut the turkey up and put it in the oven for ten minutes and 300 degrees. You put gravy on it and eat it.
Geremy — Turkey: You buy the turkey and take the paper off. Then you put it in the refrigerator and take it back out and cut it with a knife and make sure all the wires are out and take out the neck and heart. Then you put it in a big pan and cook it for half an hour at 80 degrees. Then you invite people over and eat.
Andrew — Pizza: Buy some dough, some cheese and pepperoni. Then you cook it for 10 hours at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.
Shelby — Applesauce: Go to the store and buy some apples, and then you squish them up. Then you put them in a jar that says, “Applesauce.” Then you eat it.
Meghan H. — Turkey: You cut it into 16 pieces and then you leave it in the oven for 15 minutes and 4 degrees. You take it out and let it cool and then after 5 minutes, then you eat it.
Danny — Turkey: You put some salt on it to make it taste good. Then you put it in the oven. Then you cook it for an hour at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.
Brandon — Turkey: First you buy it at Fred Meyer. Then you cut it up and cook it for 15 hours at 200 degrees. Then you take it out and eat it.
Megan K — Chicken: You put it in the oven for 25 minutes and 25 degrees and put gravy on it and eat it.
Christa — Cookies: Buy some dough and smash it and cut them out. Then put them in the oven for 2 hours at 100 degrees. Then take them out and dry them off. Then it’s time to eat them.
Irene — Turkey: Put it on a plate and put it in the oven with gravy. You cook it for 1 minute and for 100 degrees. Then it’s all cooked. Your mom or dad cuts it and then eat.
Moriah — Turkey: First you cut the bones out. Then you put it in the oven for 10 hours at 600 degrees. Then you put it on the table and eat it.
Vincent — Turkey: You cut and put sauce on it. Then you cook it for 18 minutes at 19 degrees. Then you eat it with stuffing.
Jordyn — Turkey: First you have to cut it up and put it on a plate in the oven for 9 minutes and 18 degrees. Then you dig it out of the oven and eat it.
Grace — Turkey: First you add some salt. Then you put it in a bowl. Then you put brown sugar on it. Then you mix it all together with a spoon and then you add some milk and mix it again. And then you put it in a pan. Then you put it in the oven for 15 minutes and 16 degrees. Then you take it out of the oven and then you eat it.
Alan — Turkey: First you shoot it and then you cut it. And then you put it in the oven and cook it for 10 minutes and 20 degrees. You put it on plates and then you eat it.
Jordan Salvatore — Turkey: First you put it in the oven for 15 minutes at 100 degrees. Then you cut it up and then you eat it.
Jordan Simons — Chocolate Pudding: Buy some chocolate pudding mix. Then you add the milk. Then you add the pudding mix. Then you stir it. Then you put it in the refrigerator and wait for it to get hard. Then you eat it.
Whitney — Turkey: Cut it and put it in the oven for 50 minutes at 60 degrees and then you eat it.
Jason — Chicken Pie: Put the chicken in the pot and put the salad and cheese and mustard and then you mix it all together. Then put chicken sauce and stir it all around again. Then you cook it for 5 minutes at 9 degrees. Then you eat it.
Christopher — Pumpkin Pie: First you buy a pumpkin and smash it. Then it is all done. And you cook it in the oven for 12 minutes and 4 degrees. Then you eat it.
Christine — Turkey: First you buy the turkey. Then you cook it for 5 hours and 5 degrees. Then you cut it up and you eat it.
Ashley — Chicken: Put it in the oven. Then cut it up. Then I eat it.
Jennie — Corn: My mom buys it. Then you throw it. Then you cook it. Then you eat it.
Jordan — Cranberry Pie: Put cranberry juice in it. Then you put berries in it. Then you put dough in it. Then you bake it. Then you eat it.
Adam — Pumpkin Pie: First you put pumpkin seeds in it. Put it in a pan and bake it at 5 degrees for 6 minutes. Then take it out and eat it.
Jarryd — Deer Jerky: Put it in the oven overnight at 20 degrees. Then you go hunting and bring it with you. Then you eat it.
Christina — Turkey: Get the turkey. Put it in the oven. Cook it for 43 minutes at 35 degrees. Put it on a plate, cut it up, then eat it.
Joplyn — Apple Pie: Take some apples, mash them up. Take some bread and make a pie with it. Get some dough and squish it. Shape the dough into a pie shape. Put the apples in it. Then bake it at 9 degrees for 15 minutes.
Isabelle — Spaghetti: Put those red things in it. Then put the spaghetti in it. Then cook it in the oven for 2 minutes at 8 degrees.
Bailey — Chicken: Put pepper and spices on it. Cook for one hour at 60 degrees. Then eat it.
Nicholas — White and Brown Pudding: First you read the wrapper. Get a piece of water. Stir. Then you eat it.
Sean — Turkey: Put it in the oven for 5 minutes at 55 degrees. Take it out and eat it.
Lauren — Turkey: First you find a turkey and kill it. Cut it open. Put it in a pan. Pour milk in the pan. Put a little chicken with it. Put salsa on it. Take out of pan. Put it on the board. Cut into little pieces. Put on a rack. Put in the oven for 7 minutes at 10 degrees. Take out of the oven and put eensy weensy bit of sugar on it. Put a little more salsa on it. Then you eat it.
Olivia — Corn: Get hot water and put on stove. Wait for 8 minutes. Put corn in. Then put it on a plate. Then eat.
Siera — Pumpkin Pie: Get some pumpkin and dough for the crust. Get pumpkin pie cinnamon. Cook it for 20 minutes at 10 degrees.
Kayla — Turkey: Buy it. Take it home. Then you cook it. Put it in the oven for 1 hour. Take it out of the oven. Put it on a plate. Then you eat it.
Tommy — Pumpkin: Cook the pumpkin. Then get ready to eat the pumpkin.
Wai — Pumpkin Pie: Get a pumpkin. Cook it. Eat it.
Tampon Turkey Centerpiece
Made with tampons
Its a Redneck Thanksgiving – If…
You’ve ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
You’ve ever re-used a paper plate.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say ‘Cool Whip’ on the side.
You’ve ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.
Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.
Your stuffing secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
You have to go outside to get something out of the ‘fridge.
The directions to your house include “turn off the paved road”.
You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
Your secret family recipe is illegal.
You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer.
Things you can say ONLY at Thanksgiving!
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It’s Cool Whip time!
4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
5. Whew, that’s one terrific spread!
6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
10. Don’t play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!
18. That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before its ready?
From all the usual suspects
happy thanksgiving jonco.. thank you for another year of grins and giggles,, and even the occasion piece of wisdom…..
“Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
“I love Thanksgiving turkey. It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger
Jonco – Thanks for being the one consistent bright spot in some pretty dark days. I hope you and your family have a wonderful day filled with love and laughter.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody,the tampon turkey made me sick,I love some big breasts
Happy Thanksgiving Jonco! And thanks to you for providing us with so many laughs all year!
and to me then was noticeable that then even exactly today Thanksgiving is, refers I times to this side, on which many Truthahn prescriptions stand. It hooks with the thing is however that it itself
Well said Mike. I couldn’t have said it better. But maybe Google translate could.
I think Mike was referring to the second comment in this post. According to Google Translate the closes I could find to a decent translation is that it’s German and it says:
“and then I noticed is that even then Thanksgiving is just today, I’ll refer you to this page on the many turkey recipes are available. The hook in the matter is that it is”
I never know what to do with comments that aren’t in English. I’ve deleted many of them, but don’t feel right doing that. I don’t want to exclude someone from leaving a comment that someone else might understand and enjoy. Yet, I don’t want to just let anything and everything slide through. No telling what spam or God know what else people might post.
Some times, as in this case, it’s another blog linking to this post. If it is just a quick link with little comment text I almost always delete those. Once in a while I let one slide in …especially if they say something nice about B&P or the post itself. But I’m not always comfortable doing that.
So, I’m not sure where that leaves us in the whole scheme of things… I guess I’ll keep playing it by ear and decide on a case by case basis.
I will be reading Mike F’s post at the dinner table today, obviously.
From one Welsh dude living here in America to all you Americans….Happy Thanksgiving 🙂
Jonco – Happy Thanksgiving. As a reader, I am thankful for your site. In a small way, granted, it brings a bit of joy into my live. Thank you.
dude a tampon turkey? What the hell.
If you took a wooden crate and loaded it up with tampons. Loaded it up so much that you had to put 100s of pounds on the top to be able to nail it down. Then you throw this wooden crate into a pool of water. What will happen? Will the crate just float there until the wood rots and the tampons just kinda slip out? Will the tampons absorb water causing the crate to become heavier and sink to the bottom? Or will the tampons continue to expand until the crate explodes launching the tampons everywhere?
Happy gobble gobble everyone!! Hopefully every American had a thankful day. We celebrated Thanksgiving a few weeks back and I was just Thankful that I was looking at the grass from the right side. XOXOXO ^^^isiah, will you let me know when you find out???