Here is a game you can play on your next trip to Wal-Mart. Print out the Bingo card below and take it with you the next time you go to Wal-Mart.
Click to enlarge
Thanks Gene
We Scour the Web, so You Don't Have To!
We Scour the Web, so You Don't Have To!
Needless to say, I work at Wally, so I’m very much entitled to add a comment to this. I’ve worked there a long time. I shop there and did so even before I worked there. I feel for the amputees and often wonder how it happened and silently say a little prayer for them, I also feel for the oxygen users, knowing that in most cases it is related to tobacco use, and I also say a little prayer for them. I do not laugh at them (even behind their backs). Afterall, they are part of my bread and butter. But then I see the fat ass in the motorized cart panting his way to the Little Debbies! OK, that’s laughable, but then he rips them open and starts devouring them before he gets to the register! Then I LMAO! I really do believe there needs to be at least 2 squares added for the Mexicans, it’s a daily pain in the ass, but again I keep silent. I’ve seen enough lily-white butt crack in that store to make me go blind, then there’s the ignoramous who wants you to comp an item with Meijer’s (and argues about it) even when you try to explain that our’s is priced lower to start with, females who want to know why they can’t try on panties “How will I know if my boyfriend will like them?”, and there’s the caught shoplifter who can’t explain how the $299 worth of costume jewelry and pregnancy test kit accidentally got into her purse. I could go on for days. As associates we can only laugh, bitch and moan in the breakroom about our musings, it’s nice to see that shoppers can also be amused at the differences in people. Then my day is over and I head to my car and..Oh Man!! WTF, I just stepped on a damn dirty diaper!! Goodnight and thank you for shopping at your neighborhood WM…blah, blah, blah!
The kid on the bike just kills me. When I was in there last week one family let 3 of their kids get on display bikes and ride them in the aisles. The poor clerk was trying to get them to stop, but none of them spoke english. They almost ran over 2 elderly ladies as well.
Can you still check them off if it pertains to yourself??
Beer and diapers?
Check and double-check!
Child without shoes…..perhaps 🙂
I live in North Austin, TX and there’s 2 Walmarts on my 5 mile stretch that I find myself going to. One I “lovingly” nicknamed the “Ghetto Walmart.” I get a headache there before I get into the door. On the outside, above the entrances, it reads ENTER and EXIT in about 5 languages and not one person pays attention to them, so you usually have to fight a crowd of slow-a** people moving out the door you’re trying to enter. Also, poor planning: there’s a McDonald’s a few feet into the store, and the line always blocks the people trying to leave and enter the store. It is always overcrowded in every aisle, EVERY single bingo item on here could be marked off within 20 minutes. I didn’t realize you had to bring your WHOLE family of 8 kids to the store with you like it’s a vacation. Then there’s the ignorant people that get in the fast check-out line with 50+ grocery items (separated, of course, for food stamp purposes) and the other dummies who get in the self-checkout line who either don’t know how to use it or have items that they can’t self-checkout (really, you can’t self-checkout a plastic bag filled with water and a goldfish). I either leave the store angry or just plain ready for the end of the world. Now, the other Walmart on the other end of my stretch is like heaven: very few people, the floors are clean, short lines, and no one ready to fight you for taking the last box of Cheerios off the shelf.
(By the way, I’m not racist: I’m mixed black/white/asian, and have friends who are Hispanic…..I just notice the ignorance in every race)
Apache Junction, Az you can get bingo within 10 min. My personal favorite was the oh so classy pregnant chick (with her many brats running around)who had a hooded kkk guy tattooed on her arm.
You need to add the mom picking nits out of her lousy kid’s heads and the kids with green snot pouring out of there nose fingering the produce.
I just found a square that needs added: Woman breastfeeding on the bench with the other brats running around. I’ve seen that at least a couple times, plus the breastfeeding while walking around the clothes racks shopping. Very funny stuff.
This is now avilable as an iPhone app!
I’m stationed at Ft. Polk, LA and the Wal-Mart in town is about the ONLY place to shop within an hour’s drive. Groceries? -WM. Clothes? -WM. Automotive? Family portraits? Shrimp? Eyeglasses? Income Tax Prep? —WAL MART!
The young soldiers even cruise Wal Mart on Saturday nights trying to pick up the local “hotties”. (Usually 200lb. redneck chicks with tramp-stamp tattoos showing above their thong underwear. With four screaming kids.)
I have to have a few shots to even consider going in there…it’s too depressing, otherwise.
A friend of mine managed one and saw a flyer laying in the aisle one night. He went to pick it up, only to find that someone had placed it there to camoflage a turd. Yes, someone actually took a sh*t in the aisle.
-Who ARE these people??? -Why do they continue to breed????
I’m really glad most of you find amputees, people in wheelchairs, and
other physical disabilities something to laugh about … Yes, I see all of
these and more when I go to Wal-Mart (I worked at the HQ for 10 yrs)
and no harm in marking a bingo card, but most of these comments are
so crude and insensitive I cannot believer you are human … I wear a
leg brace under slacks, use an electric cart because I cannot walk and
yes, I get winded trying to walk a huge parking lot to the entry …
Think of this: If this were your mother, sister, brother or father,
would you want people finding amusement in their disabilities ..
Snotty kids, tattoos, pants showing their a$$, all sometimes funny.
Disabilities… never … Shame on you!
People with disabilities or health problems are not funny. They are not the reason I hate going to Wal Mart. I actually used to like shopping at Wal Mart in the city I grew up in.
It’s the super white trash, urban aboriginals and/or irresponsible parents. (Usually a combination of the three)
I don’t even blame the employees for their poor attitudes. I mean, someone sh*tting on the floor isn’t really something we have to deal with in my office…
i work @ walmart too and well i play this game in my head, i get bingo almost every time i work….
The other day, I got a few of these before even stepping inside the store. Within 5 minutes, I had three in a row.
Anyone ever seen the obese lady in a scooter? Yeah, well, have you seen her drinking from a carton of half and half? Yeah.
LMAO!!! I had a guy shove me out of his way last night in Walmart. I need to be done with that place-it’s a joke! ;o)
Since most of these stores have gone 24/7 now, I think abandoned child playing video game demo should also be added…along with early am feildtrip by entire developmentally disabled group home staff…WTF?…this is really the best thing you can think of to help those poor souls develop?!
I have also had the pleasure of seeing a grown man urinating in the parking lot. The store was less than 50 feet away-but not as nice as peeing in the parking lot I guess.
You left out “women whipping her kid”.One time my 16 year old daughter and I pulled into the parking lot and my kid says “Hey Dad look,they can’t even wait to get into the store”.And sure enough right there in the Wal-Mart parking lot was some woman whipping her sobbing kid.
It ain’t just Wal-mart. One time I was at a K-Mart (now BK) when I saw this woman throw her kid up onto the hood of her car and start changing the kid’s diaper, right in the middle of the parking lot. What is even worse is, this was in the Phoenix, Az area, in the middle of summer, where temperatures get into the triple digits. Magnify that with the temperature of the metal of a car hood after sitting out in the sun for a while. The kid was wailing at the top of its lungs, to say the least.
That should be in the FREE box on the card.
I’m gonna print this card out, make copies and distribute it at walmart.
i first stumbled uppon the card while looking at funny pictures well i live in baltimore maryland. this is a fairly developed state and is largely democratic. when i go into walmart i can pick off five in a row. i have seen mullets galore. i work at mcdonnalds i think for the free space you need to add family with 8 kids all wantng mcnuggets and fries and the parents just trying to get them to sit the heck down
This would be funny if it didn’t insult so many people all at once. I’ve got an idea: let’s all stop shopping there! I don’t go there because I can’t abide their business practices. Feel free to choose your own reason: hate their corporate practices; feel superior to everyone else in store; enjoy griping about stuff; etc. But let’s just stop shopping there, okay?!!!!!
Wow this is so funny. I recently moved to Tennessee from LA and had literally never been to Walmart. It was an amazing place. Ethnic people don’t bother me in fact I love hearing different languages but what gets me is the people mistreating their kids. And the kids acting like demons. It’s like they are on crack or something. My contribution to the squares: someone loading the frozen fish from China in their cart while stanind next to the “we’re going green” sign. My first and last trip there.
the thing that irks the he11 out of me is a food stamp recipient that buys nothing but junkfood
WAL MART IS THE ENEMY
I’ve been in a KY WAL-MART Super center for the past 2 years that’s in a big college town, and been told we’re the most successful one within our region. About once a month, I’ll encounter a deaf couple who needs me to write down questions so they can reply back on the paper, a Hispanic family or two whose kids can communicate better than their folks, an Indian male who I can talk to but can’t pronounce his name, and some uptight rich Asian woman who gets mad if I don’t get her groceries bagged exactly right. The amputees come and go, I feel for them and help them with the bags. The mixed racial kids with bad parenting sometimes isn’t completely as bad as it seems; my mom has 6 kids –including me–so I understand the chore of shopping.
Some of the bingo slots come off as bad jokes, but look hard enough and you’ll find them. Here are my suggestions for substitutes: find some teenager pack who is running through the aisles; a WM associate in a department he/she knows nothing about; an associate goofing off behind their counter; kids with “wheelie” shoes; someone wearing pajamas; a call for a manager or CSM that takes 5 to 10 min. to show up just to give a cashier a “key turn”; 5 or more people in the customer service line; someone in line who price matches over 6 items; someone who pays over 20 cents in pennies; someone who pays $5 in change; someone talking on their cell phone while checking out; overhearing someone searching for an item they know little about; one person behind a specialty counter (sporting goods, lawn and garden, TLE, etc.) who has a line of 6 or more people.
AND here’s a mega bonus automatic win–find the Tire and Lube express associate who has been left alone behind the counter, trying to answer 2 ringing phones, write up service orders on one computer, help people on the sales floor, all while checking out a line or regular customers wrapped around the counter. Chances are if you’re in Richmond, KY, it’ll be me 🙂
Employee speaks no english.Kids running all over the store alone without supervision.15 people getting into one vehicle with all their groceries.Employees with spiked neon colored hair,nose rings etc,dirty finger nails.
I know it’s mean to laugh, but I had a great time with this. I have seen every single one of them at one time or another in Wal-Mart. You just have to laugh at most of them.
Too bad this snarky bingo card is tainted by a misspelling.
You Might be a readneck if…. you play WalMart Bingo…lol
What on Earth is wrong with a woman breastfeeding her baby? Most of my breastfeeding friends and I avoid Wal-Mart, but if we’re there and our babies need to eat, we feed them. I actually associate bottles full of cola with Wal-Mart shoppers and breastfeeding with the health food coop.
Fort Knox, KY
Having worked at a Wal-Mart in Oklahoma during college (many, many years ago) and a also being a reluctant shopper, I’ve seen all of these at least once.
Back then the Wal-Mart was only open until 9pm (or 10pm or later during holidays). My main area was Lawn and Garden, but I had the unceasing joy of covering Pets and Toys (two adjacent departments). Parents loved to drop their adrenaline-overloaded, ADHD brats off in the toy department to play and be tended to by employees as they shopped.
The Wal-Mart Bingo card is ironic how universal it is. From the big cities to the small, podunk towns in middle America. What’s funny (and sad) about the small towns though is how many I’ve talked to refer to Wal-Mart as the equivalent of ‘going to the mall’, especially when all they’ve had before is a Dollar General (or equivalent). Yep… now they’ve made the BIG TIME…
You could probably use the wal mart bingo card at any ‘tea party’ rally and score bingo in less than five minutes !
I worked there in the early ’90s for a few years, while attending college. I saw terrible things, things people probably wouldn’t try in classier stores. There was a woman who allowed her child to vomit in a shoebox with shoes in it–she put that right back on the shelf. A woman tried to return a set of queen sheets, completely soaked in blood. When customer service refused, she began removing her clothes….
Ditto on comments about amputees and oxygen tank users though, my dad was on oxygen at the end of his life (he didn’t shop at Wal-Mart).
In response to Southerbelle’s comment of:
Think of this: If this were your mother, sister, brother or father,
would you want people finding amusement in their disabilities ..
Snotty kids, tattoos, pants showing their a$$, all sometimes funny.
Disabilities… never … Shame on you!
Sorry, but disabilities can be funny too. And if it’s a close relative, it’s even funnier!! You better believe I laugh and make jokes about them in front of them, but then they agree it’s funny and join in the joking.
Has any one ever been there on a football game day and its some group of idiot standing in front of the flat screen t.v.’s you say excuse me then they look at you then look back at the televisiosn
I have a niece that had never been to Wal-Mart by the time she was 13. She came to visit me and I was trying to plan some outings like going to the museums and stuff. She pulled out a list — she wanted to go she stuff she was never allowed to at home 1. a Pawn Shop 2. a thrift store and 3. Wal-Mart. This was great entertainment for her.
Point is everyone has flaws…So if it’s not fun laughing at yourself..Don’t laugh at other people. Worse case—the same thing your laughing at could happen to you. Just a really good reminder. I think people should focus on doing more positive things than this.But I can see how this could be funny…if you just don’t care,but that isn’t me =) Giggle on gigglers..LMBO
I’m a democrat but I listen to you every morning on the way to work and enjoy your show a lot. Today you really pissed me off – and I don’t get upset easily. I’ve been a professional single (divorced) mother with three biracial boys for a long time. What the hell does it mean if you are putting down single mothers with multiracial children?! I was so offended! You said “it’s ok if they are with their husband – then it’s a beautiful thing”….the divorce rate is 50% I believe…happens to the best of us….so divorced mothers with multiracial children are scum because of the color of their children’s skin? Single mothers with white children are somehow different? You don’t believe in judging people on the content of their character? You should be ashamed of yourself for your comment. Please explain how that wasn’t a racist comment! And by the way, I also have a friend who needs a lung transplant and is now needing oxygen….She has a genetic disorder and didn’t do anything to warrant it…your Walmart Bingo was in very poor taste. Shame on you.
hilarious. u need to add
“people who shouldnt leave the house without a paper bad on their face.”
i count at least 10 of those every time i visit Wal*Mart
I believe that you, “mr or mrs disability whiner” aka Southernbelle, are unable to truly understand the basis of this card in its entirety. Were you able to get over the fact that you are in fact disabled and see that this bingo card, while in some parts humorous, is a display of the diversity of Wal*Mart shoppers. I see fault not in the creator of this card for insensitivity but in you for over sensitivity. Rather than complain about your disability accept it for who you are. My self am a double amputee of a car accident. I take the double takes and weird glances as conversations starters and I have met many very interesting people this way.
I work at Walmart, and most people would be amazed if they saw half of what I see. No, we should never make fun of anyone with a disability, but when I saw a 500 pound woman riding around on the electric cart which squeaked the whole time she was there, that did it for me. Maybe it is a health issue that she is 500 pounds, but does that mean that I had to see her stomache hanging out of her shirt? And then ring out all her candy, chips, and soda? I’ve also had people try to return old worn shoes, used makeup, used towels, and dirty sheets. The bathrooms are disgusting because people are pigs and probably live in pig stys. No wonder people make fun of them. This Bingo is not only fun, it is 125% true. And, if you must breast feed your child, go to your car or shop after the child has been fed. I do not want to see your boobs and neither do any other customers.
In Albuquerque , NM we have many wal-marts however we have one we call the mexican walmart. It’s kind of like the ghetto walmart except there isn’t a race diversity going on and most of the products sold are geared toward the mexican population. Notice I didn’t say “hispanic”? That’s because it is not a representaion of hispanic needs but of Mexican needs . How many of you go to your wal-mart and see lard as an item on sale in this day age of healthier living? Good grief wally world get a clue!!!
O.K this is too funny..but you must add the breast-feeding,smoking mother..while the ashes fall on babies head!!!!
This is so funny except for 2 of the squares – ‘Someone using a voice box’ (cancer isn’t funny) and ‘Someone missing a limb’ (also not funny).