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Friday Firesmith – For the Love of Bruce

Back in 2014, Jonco emailed me, and he asked if he could crowdfund the bill for my dog, Lucas, who had cancer. I was in pretty bad financial shape to begin with, just bought a new truck, and the vet bill was going to be more than I could come up with. But Jonco’s plan worked, and the people who donated money to Lucas and me saved me from having to sell everything I owned.

One of the biggest donors was a guy I had never met or even heard of, who called himself XOXOXOBruce. I offered to pay Bruce back for the money he sent me and he scoffed at the idea. “You’ll pay it forward,” he told me, and since that point in time, I’ve pitched in where and to who I could, anyone with an ailing dog, or cat. Bruce was like that, I would learn, for his generosity was boundless. Bruce billed himself a curmudgeon, but the truth was found in his heart of gold.

Bruce and I began an email conversation, which led to him sending me his “Daily Dose” of funny things he found on the internet and shared with a small group of friends.

Bruce, and his real first name was Bruce, and I became friends. He lived in Pennsylvania. He liked World War Two stuff like I did, and we talked about a lot of weird stuff. He commented on nearly everything I wrote here for a while, but as time went on, Bruce apparently had some health problems, and I started hearing from him less. One day, the daily dose stopped. And on the 27th of January Mike emailed me to say Bruce had died on the 17th.

I didn’t know Bruce’s family. He had a girlfriend for a while, and she and I were friends for a while, but then they broke up.

Bruce liked cars and stuff like that. He knew a lot more than I about guns. He would send me random emails about odd things that somehow, he knew I would like.

One day he sent me this pin. No warning, no conversation about it, the thing just showed up, and Bruce was like that. He did things because he was thinking about his friends.

You will live one of two lives. You will die before the people you love, and never know the grief of loss. Or you will outlive the people you love, and you will know grief. Grief is made not of sorrow and loss, no, not at all. It is made of love and of life.

Or it would not exist.

And neither would you.

I miss you, Bruce,

Mike

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17 thoughts on “Friday Firesmith – For the Love of Bruce”

  1. I don’t remember whose blog roll I found Bits & Pieces on, 10 years is way too long ago. I came for the gags but stayed for Jonco’s warmth and relaxation.
    I was gutted when I read about his accident. I’m not much for the culture of internet fame and influencers, but Jonco spoke truth with a large scoop of humour and a big heart. On the other side of the planet in Western Australia he was missed.
    The comments also tell a story. Foolishness rarely pops up, but on the rare occasion it has the response given by Jonco often reminded me to educate not eviscerate.
    Still miss Jonco, he was a bloody good bloke. Still pop in here first thing every day. B & P is as it was with son of Jonco at the wheel. ( must have been an exceptional dad)
    XoxoBruce hung out in the same village I visited, can’t recall the content of his comments., but we must have had a similar sense of humour. Farewell brother.
    Here’s to Jonco and the community of B&P and here’s to you Mike. The world still has humanity when I’m here.
    Cheers 🍻
    Djeph (aka King Congas)
    Whadjuk Noongar

    +4
    Reply
    • Djeph,
      I believe some seek fame and attention on the net, and other gain it because of who and what they are as real people. Jonco and Bruce were certainly two of the latter. My life, my real life, was altered for the good and forever by the grace of those two men. The internet is a shallow hive of screamers for the most part. But in rare places and rare cases, the heart of humanity can be found deep.

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    • DJeph – thanks for your kind words about dad. I think he would’ve got a real sense of pride that someone across the globe thought he was a ‘bloody good bloke’. He really was. I wish I could hug ya. <3 krisgo

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  2. This little community helped get me through some tough times, although I know no one realizes it. I was very alone and could have sunk into a deep depression. I used to stop by here daily, sometimes more than once. Many times it was for the hilarity that ensued from the commenters. You all always made me laugh and realize that I wasn’t so alone as I thought.
    I was so saddened with the loss of Jonco. I am saddened again at the loss of another kind soul. I’m so sorry to family and friends for your loss.
    You never know how far reaching your kindness is. I’m so glad this little corner of the web has brought out the best in so many people and brought so many of us together. Thank you so much for keeping it going.

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    • Chick,
      Humor may not solve any problems but it makes dealing with life easier. Grief is like humor in that you can’t control how you react to it, and you shouldn’t try, either. Jonco set the tone for this site years ago, and my obligation is to keep it as real as I can for him. He created an oasis in a desert for anyone to visit.
      If you love you will expereince loss, and that’s how life works, and it’s the cost of love. Bit living means you can keep going, and you should. You life is the memorial to those you once loved, and lost.

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  3. Thanks for your article Mike. Unfortunately for me – I did not know Bruce very well at all. I saw he commented on LOTS of posts, which honestly helped me to keep the site going and not give up, just knowing that people are actually looking at it helped a whole lot to have the energy to keep on posting. (As well as your weekly articles and the emails and encouragement I received from Mike W., DJ, and even the naughty ones I got from Mr. Biggles – lol) Also – just knowing that people like Chick, Tim, the guy I randomly met at my local library who says he’s looked at B&P every day for years, etc.. and especially these people who chime in like Djeph above – I’ve never heard that name before – are the reason this site is still going. But back to Bruce – even though I didn’t know him – just the fact that a GUY put XOXOXO in front of his name, gave me a special joy to see it pop up in the comments. I’ll 100% miss that.

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    • Kris, the true measure of someone’s realness, if that is a word, is their ability to make other people happy. Jon had it, Bruce had it, you and Mike have it, this place is real to a lot of people, but only because it began real, and continues to do so. Bruce was one of those people who like being invisible and unknown, until he was needed, and then he did what he could to help. This may all end one day, and all things do, but I’m going to keep going as long as I am allowed to, and I hope this site outlives me by 100 years.

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  4. I’m sorry for your loss, Mike, and I agree that it’s a loss for all of us. I stumbled on this site years ago after I retired, and stayed with it because apart from the humour there’s a strong current of intelligence, both in the posts and in the comments. It’s one of the last pages I visit before I close down my laptop for the day. I always did appreciate that Jonco kept politics off the page, but the thoughtfulness of the posts and commenters – you and Bruce and a number of others – has always reassured this old Canuck that there are some deep thinkers in the US and that’s a hopeful way to end my day.

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    • Good Morning Virginia, and thanks for the positive vibes.

      Bruce and I traded a lot of emails, and he had some really cool stuff. A lot of it was thought provoking, too.

      This place is different. It’s special. It’s what the internet was supposed to be, I think.

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  5. Mike: nice tribute.

    I remember XOXOBruce commenting on this site. As I mentioned in another post, I did meet another Bruce who comes to this site occasionally and thought they were one and the same–but they are different Bruces.

    There were others that used to comment here that I have not seen in a while–like A L N, Maffu, Miss Silver, Infidel, and others. I hope they are all doing well and have not moved to the great beyond.

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    • Tim,
      one of my first posts was to ask people how they got their nicknames, and it was one of the most popular articles. I may have to track it down, because a lot of people who were once here are gone. Like you, I hope they’ve just drifted away.

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  6. Love this. As stated above, this site has provided many lights at that end of the tunnel. And this post, touched me as my father passed away during the LA fires. The fires did not take him; cancer did. The event was surreal. Your final paragraph allowed tears to flow. It is eye opening to consider life in that manner. Grief indeed does come from love. Live now; live for those that did not live; honor them.
    Thank you-

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    • Ickity, grief is a universal language, but so is love. Pain is a constant compainon but if you live well, so is compassion. Bruce was a stranger who lived far away yet he helped me through a terrible time. He commisioned me to pay it forward. Your father raised a good person. Your gratitude should also be extended to Bruce, Jonco, and a host of others who showed me compassion, and if you want to make the world a better place than your father lived to see, pay it forward, in the name of those you love.

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  7. Thanks Mike that was a wonderful and sobering read.
    I’m just a little old man out here in the harsh Western Australian desert and I often think about Jonco and the tragic circumstances in which he passed….I truly believe it keeps a spirit alive when you think about those that have passed on…Cheers mate.

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