Silly things my significant other says…

Reddit asks tyhe question:  What are some of the “so silly it’s cute” things your significant other has said or done?

• My wife calls me from work and tells me that she thinks we should join AA. Now I have a beer on occasion but I wouldn’t say I have a problem and my wife hardly drinks at all so I ask her why. She says “You know if we have a flat tire or something”. I’m laughing and tell her that she meant AAA (triple A) and the AA is Alcoholics Anonymous. She tells me that she had been saying that to people at work all day and they had been giving her strange looks.
• My wife is taking an online IQ test. While reading one of the questions she says to me, “The person that wrote this test is retarded. They misspelled ‘story’. This question starts with ‘Susan was reading a story’ but they left the ‘E’ out of story. It’s spelled s-t-o-r-e-y, right?”  
• We went to Europe from the US: She asked me if north was still the same direction.
• “What’s the big deal about nuclear energy? We should just use the electricity coming out of the wall!”  My first wife (now divorced), honestly, she’s actually quite brilliant in a LOT of ways….just not about energy generation.

• “Lutherans worship Luther, right?”  My wife said this almost five years ago, and it still makes my day.

• Not my significant other, but her mother, thought the sun and the moon are the same thing.

• My wife and I were sitting at a bar and having a couple of beers when I noticed a “Jackelope” skull on the wall behind the bar and made some passing reference about it. She laughed knowingly in agreement with whatever I said, became silent for a few seconds (I could hear the gears turning), and said “Wait, so those don’t live around here, right?  It cracked me up even more because she’s not at all stupid.

• My blonde wife said one day, “You think it’s hot on our deck, lucky we’re not on the neighbors deck” (about 10 feet higher) I said, Why dear? she says duh, its closer to the sun.

• We were driving down the strip in Jacksonville, NC on my way back to base. We drove by an IHOP and I said we should stop and eat. Her response: “I dunno, is it like the International House of Pancakes?”  I was speechless and have proceeded to mention it every time we drive by an IHOP.

• My wife refers to all soda as “coke”. We usually just have Dr Pepper in the fridge because that’s what she drinks. Every time she asks for a coke I’ll look in the fridge and list every drinkable thing in the house, ending with Dr Pepper, then I’ll tell her that it looks like we’re out of Coke. She gives me the evil eye and won’t talk to me for ten minutes, but seriously, who calls Dr Pepper Coke?

• For the love of goodness sake!  My girlfriend utters that all the time.

• My wife and I both grew up outside of the city limits of our home town. After college we moved back and lived inside the city proper. So we head to this little USPS mail hub outside the court house to mail some bills. There are two big blue USPS mailbox’s. One labeled “In-Town”, the other labeled “Out of Town”. She gets out of the car, drops off outgoing mail and gets back in the car and says “Now that we finally live in town I can use the “In Town” box. At that point I die laughing and ask “Have you always used the “Out of Town box” when you lived in the country?”. She says yes. I then explain to her that the post office doesn’t care where YOU live… they care where the mail is GOING… in town… or out of town. We still laugh about that.

• We’d been married a few months when on night I was replacing the alternator on our car. My wife, bless her, was being helpful by holding the flashlight, getting needed hand tools, whatever. Well I was getting frustrated by the job and her continually asking how to help. I finally asked her to go into the house and bring me back about 3 feet of fallopian tube. She turned for the house, took about 4 steps before she caught herself. I still ask her for fallopian tube on occasion.

• Not my wife (who is quite smart) but my sister. She has a PhD in Veterinary pathology and makes gobs of money but when I, reading from a magazine, said “The mob knocked over a Brinks truck in New York” she replied, “Aren’t those things, like, really heavy?”.

  My adorkable husband confused “epitaph” and “ipecac.” needless to say, it was a confusing conversation.

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