Happy Thanksgiving

Happy thanksgiving

May your stuffing be tasty,

May your turkey plump,

May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump.

May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!

 

Eat like the Pilgrims

Turkey tan

 

The subserviant turkey

 

10 reasons college students look forward to Thanksgiving break

10. You’ll know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than a Grade E yet semi-edible fur ball.

9. Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes and stuffing with an ice cream scooper.

8. Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green Jello.

7. After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency dash to the bathroom will not be delayed by having to line the seat with toilet paper.

6. Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car, bedroom larger than a 12×14 cell… OK, even if it is for only four days.

5. To eat your meals the only trek you’ll have to make is from the couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the dining hall…in below freezing weather.

4. Instead of listening to “when I first started teaching here…” you can be entertained by “when your mother was your age…” and “during the Depression we weren’t lucky enough to have brussel sprouts. Hell, all we could afford was the sprout!”

3. You can eat your corn steamed with butter rather than popped in your microwave

2. You’ll know the hair in the shower drain is your own.

1. You won’t be eating your Thanksgiving meal off a tray!


Pumpknit Pie

Pumpknit pie

Take the Turkey Quiz

The one that got away
Turkey escape

Why we eat what we eat on Thanksgiving

If the Pilgrims gave the Indians a donkey instead of a turkey. . . we would all get a piece of ass for Thanksgiving.

The-breasts-my-favorite-part

Worst things to throw at a Thanksgiving food fight

1. Individual peas. (No heft.)
2. Yams. (Melty marshmallow burns.)
3. Turkeys. (They actually can’t fly.)
4. Cranberry sauce. (Never get the red stain off your hands.)
5. Pumpkin pie. (Wasting pumpkin pie is a criminal offense.)
6. Left-over Halloween candy. (Sheesh! Why not just throw rocks?)
7. Knives. (Not technically food.)
8. Bread. (Why bother?)
9. Chocolate creme pie (See “Pumpkin pie.”)
10. Stuffing. (Do you know where that’s been?

Who do you want to fix your Thanksgiving turkey?

 From all the usual sources

Happy Thanksgiving!

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