He’s bad and he’s loaded. Here are a few of his less graphic tweets:
- My wife’s over a thousand years old and will never die. Thank you, Satan. Because *that’s* fun.
- Hey Billy from Idaho, your letter says you want a PS3. Santa just changed it to “novelty calculator from Staples”
- Johnny from Kansas wants an XBOX. Aw! You deserve it after all the shitting-your-pants you’ve accomplished this year.
- Leaving carrots for my reindeer is real smart kids. The only thing that was missing from reindeer shit was fucking carrots.
- Don’t worry people. Don’t worry. Like I’m *not* going to shit in Kanye’s stocking.
- Hey Timmy from Utah. Your parents are unemployed. Let’s change “iPod” to “shitty $10 mp3 player you can buy at a gas station”
- It’s Friday night and Santa’s drunk. Let’s punt some elves.
- Guess who’s totally not getting laid tonight because his wife’s totally being a bitch? Rhymes with Manta Blaws.
More at Loaded Santa if you dare.
