Dear Civilians,
We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can’t join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas we would like your assistance with:
- The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem … kick their ass.
- When you witness firsthand someone burning the American Flag in protest… kick their ass.
- Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a Disabled Veteran kicks their ass.
- (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU’s), telling others that you used to be “Special Forces,” and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay if you were still seven. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.
- Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, “Do you fly a jet?” Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass kicking (children are exempt).
- If you witness someone calling the U.S. Coast Guard non military, inform them of their mistake…and kick their ass.
- Roseanne Barr’s singing of the National Anthem is not a blooper…it was a disgrace and disrespectful. Laugh, and sooner or later your ass will be kicked.
- Next time Old Glory (U.S. flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her…of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass kicking.
- What Jane Fonda did during the Vietnam War makes her the enemy. The proper word to describe her is “traitor.” Just mention her nomination for “Woman of the Year” and get your ass kicked.
- Don’t try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans and we all bleed the same regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command, is to include our commander in Chief. The President (for those who didn’t know) is our CIC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives” meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. The military member might direct you to Oliver North. (I can see him kicking your ass already.)
- “Your mama wears combat boots” never made sense to me … stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and probably kick your ass!
- Bin Laden and the Taliban are not communists, so stop saying “Let’s go kill those Commie’s!!!” And stop asking us where he is!!!! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me … if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers; let me know, so I can go kick their ass.
- Flyboy (Air Force), Jar Head (Marines), Grunt (Army), Squid (Navy) etc, are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Could get your ass kicked.
- Last but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends please remember that there are, literally, thousands of sailors and troops far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its ass kicked.
I agree 100%,I do wear BDU pants because they are perfect to work around the house in I have some that are 20 years old and still in good shape
Wow. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be funny, or what. The underlying sense I feel from reading this is an overwhelming amount of……..hostility.
To the author of this post, I would like to address something in # 3 that came to my mind. How much respect has our government given to the vets we see standing on the exit ramp of the interstate, holding a sign that reads “Homeless vet, please help”, or the hundreds of variations on that theme.
Thanks for reading my post.
AMEN!!
Infidel, there is nothing wrong in wearing BDU’s. Wearing them and pretending to be something you are not is. Ask this guy.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/1111091medals1.html
Paul seeing humor in something you don’t understand in an common practice. Wondering why a Veteran might show hostility toward some American’s citizens is damn right funny.
Just a reminder about number 1. If the person is in military uniform and outside, he is supposed to have his/her hat on…Don’t try to kick their ass or you may get it back in spades. Go Grunts!
They should make these rules official thru an awareness program…
I make a point to thank every service member i see… how about you?
As a former member of Air Force (alright, you Marines, knock it off!)it’s nice when people “thank me” for serving in the military. Granted, it wasn’t during hostilities, but there’s a good chance, if things were different (back then), I would have had to go. The government knew where they could reach me.
And Tehobu, I hope that guy in the link you provided GETS HIS ASS S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y KICKED! Maybe once for each medal he’s wearing. And then, we can ship him off to Afghanistan, and let him try to EARN every one of those medals.
As for this post, yes…I completely agree with it. I think it is a very good piece.
I am with Paul on this one. I mean, Jesus Christ, the Fonda thing was 35 years ago. And “Don’t try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran”? And how many American Flags are actually burned by Americans each year? I would rather see something written about pride than something so hostile and super-macho about “kicking asses”.
What a bunch of crap.
This is an ignorant list of hostility created by a bitter person with an opinion. I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be funny, cause it’s not.
If you see a non-military person going around kicking people’s asses for the sake of the military, kick their ass.
Most of the vets I know would prefer to kick your ass for posting something that unamerican, and outright hostile to some of our most fundamental values, like freedom of speech.
They did risk, and in some cases, lose, their lives to protect your right to be a sadistic asshole to anyone you disagree with. But that doesn’t mean they approve.
I agree with the Post by Jonco, I am quite sure most Vets do as well.
KLAW: If you actually believe that someone expressing an opinion you don’t agree with justifies physical violence, then you are – seriously – mentally ill, and should be locked up to keep you from hurting anyone.
If you think it was funny, well, you’re a sadistic asshole, and should be locked to up keep you from being an asshole.
Relax Goober. I’m the asshole that posted it because I saw humor (warped, I admit) in the “kick his ass” part of each line. Of course, no one HAS to get up and take their hat off during the National Anthem and no one HAS to place their hand over their heart when the flag passes by and no one HAS to support the troops. Truth be told, the veterans of our country fought to give those people who feel that way the right to be bitter assholes.
Hey Goob, no name calling please. Obviously you are not a Vet, you missed the good times. Ever been spat on at an airport after a LONG flight? You missed all the fun. Why do you think I am crazy? That is my opinion, I am sticking to it.
Whoa boys!
Reading through post I think it has been altered along the way as there are two distinct voices at work in each line. Someone has taken a quite rational post and “sexed it up” by the look of things.
The first two items in the list almost certainly contained ass kicking references from the beginning – and (sort of) understandably so.
The rest, however, have obviously had the “ass kicking” bit added on, and quite clumsily so in most places.
Read it again and omit the offending final sentences and clauses and you will see that it is simply a post – probably by a vet – explaining the things that annoy servicemen and women and how to show proper deference and respect to the members of the forces, the flag they serve and the commitment they make.
If that doesn’t make sense, here’s my version of how I think the original of this post looked:
That is all. As you were.
Thank You Maffu, perhaps the Goober should take this test.
http://www.randomzen.net/tests_asshole.phtml
As a member of the Armed Forces, let me say I agree whole-heartedly with the text and the tone of this post. I am entitled to the respect and agreement (or silence) of the civie scum who are too old or cowardly to serve as I and my brethren did. It is un-American to speak out against us. I never met a problem a gun couldn’t solve. These disloyal comments have me so steaming mad, I think i’m going to go out and kick the ass of some Greek priest (after I do a photo-shoot for a gay porn website). HOO-AHHH!
The crowd seems to get curiouser and curiouser. I’m with you Jonco, I think it’s funny in a silly, sarcastic way. Does it seem hostile. Not really. Remember, our training wasn’t to visit flowers and gifts on a loving tribe. Our training was to defend our country, no matter who was in office, as indicated above, and follow the orders of the CinC. This lends itself to a violent camaraderie similar to what you might see in football fans sitting in a bleachers yelling “we’re going to kick their a$$.” As far as discussing politics, what the heck, it’s as good as arguing about anything else.
For the signs of the homeless…well, it’s good to know that all the signs under display are the honest, unvarnished truth. I was afraid that some of the folks out there just didn’t want to work (yes, I said “some”, not all, I’m not a heartless Bas#$$#, just half that).
And eyeball…Zoomies were great! Dad retired from the Air Force and my brother retired from the Army. Too bad I was the only one that went into the Military….
If it absolutely has to be destroyed overnight, send in the Marines.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091112/ap_on_re_us/us_mosque_forfeiture
http://landing.ancestry.com/military/vday/world.aspx?o_xid=21838&o_lid=21838
if you see someone with no sense of humor reading posts on BnP; Kick their Ass! Seroiusly guys, I’m sure the entire thing was meant as a joke.
If you won’t stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them. Hooo-Ahhh!
Chick, I loves you. You’re a great gal. Hooo-Ahhh!
Up here we say eh..eeeeeeeee. J/K
Hooo-Ahhh! Army Brat.
Well said, Chick!
I was never in the military due partly to health reasons, but I come from a military family. On my Dad’s side alone, my grandfather, father, uncle, three aunts, two brothers, and innumerable cousins all served. In the last two generations, we’ve served all four branches.
Guys, this thing is HUMOR. It’s funny, but it does make a point. The military DESERVES our respect and military personnel have EARNED our respect, unlike some of these disrespectful flag burning sissies always whining about their rights. You want rights? Earn them.
I feel the love guys thanks, I’m an Army brat myself, so was my mother. My dad and both grandfathers were vets as was my ex, I’m proud of all of them.
crispy: Thanks for clearing that up! All along, I mistakenly thought that those sissies were the ones entitled to their rights, and that soldiers were less-sickly sissies who volunteered to protect the other sissies in the unfortunate event of a threat to the country’s safety. I guess I have no rights unless I, too agree to be trained to become an unquestioning, obedient killing machine. I suppose I’m not even really a man until then! And then, I’ll also be *entitled* to respect from the other sissies, who can all kiss the grinding heel of my freedom-lovin’ boot if they don’t give it to me instantly.
It’s nice to now have a direction in life.
Lumpygravy, Semper Fi buddy. Thanks for the help.
Maffu – You seem to understand us Americans better than some of the Americans that wander in here. And I would consider it an honor to kick Jane Fonda’s ass all the way to Hanoi.
Been there, never saw the Jane you speak of.
http://www.1stcavmedic.com/jane_fonda.htm
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091113/ap_on_re_us/us_fort_hood_shooting
On a happy note.
http://news.yahoo.com/comics/091112/cx_pearls_umedia/20091211
Six years as an Air Force officer. I agree with nearly all of the items, though the “kick their ass” comments are largely in jest.
One of the greatest men this nation has known died last night. My uncle, who joined the navy, underage, after Pearl Harbor. No, you wouldn’t know his name, but the stories he told. . . He received massive doses of radiation keeping his nuclear sub – yes, he commanded one – underwater during the cold war. And lived to a ripe old age.
He and I once had a several-days-long discussion about burning of the American flag. It ended with me saying that if we two saw such a thing happening, I would instantly and happily help him beat the hell out of the burners. But that the police should take the two of US to jail.
Chris,
Our condolences to you and your family. I’m sure your uncle will be missed.
I believe in supporting our military personel by giving them a decent pension or a decent wage or maybe proper medical care when they are injured in service to the country. Saying ‘thank you’ in an airport is OK but it seems a little empty. I sometimes wonder how many people who display “support our troops” would be willing to back that up with a tax increase. Just wondering…
Chris, *seriously*? When did you “earn” the right to violently punish civilians who don’t live up to your standards of patriotism? And you’d enjoy it? Is that what they teach in the military? Thanks for, like, fighting for me and all, but stay the hell away from my kids!
I understand that obedience and uniformity is mandatory in your line of business, but if you’ve forgotten that you’re fighting to defend my RIGHT to be dissident, then you must be fighting to turn this into a police state.
AD – Absolutely. Everyone has the right to burn an American flag. I was against the idea of a constitutional amendment to change this. But anyone who burns the flag is a coward, traitor, slacker, and all around scumbag. They are not brave souls standing up for their rights, as, for example, the civil rights marchers were. And they are in effect spitting in the faces of the brave souls who have fought, and died, to let them do this legally. We fight/fought to protect these scum – and WE appreciate it, though the scum don’t.
Please note that these folks should NOT go to jail, or be watched, or any of the other things that happen to such folks in nearly all countries other than the US. Which I made clear. I was expressing my personal opinion on what I would do – clearly illegally. And my willingness to go to jail after doing so, well earned. I would simply be expressing my opinion on what they were doing, quite strongly, with less offense to them than they were doing to Americans.
They certainly don’t teach this in the military, and indeed punish such actions harshly. They teach it in America.
No, Chris. Beating people IS NOT a comparably brave, noble expression of free speech. Ever. It is cowardly, violent oppression. The fact that it is a criminal act is NOT just an inconvenient technicality.
People desecrate national icons because they feel betrayed by the system that uses it for a symbol and body-shield. You’re entitled to your feelings, but whenever you see someone burning his country’s flag, if you do care enough to respond, do something to restore that protester’s faith in the system.
Ah, forgive me, but I never said that my actions would be brave, and they certainly would not be noble. Just clearly expressed. Do they feel betrayed? OUTstanding! We need more folks with strong opinions! Write your congessmen! Visit them! Letters to the editor! Peaceful marches and demonstrations! Small private meetings in their homes! Protest! Express yourself! Be dissident! Oppose the mainstrem! OUTstanding! We have far too little of this nowadays. If everyone dressed and felt like I do, the world would be a dim, grey place. I am certainly wrong in some of my opinions.
But burn the American flag at your risk.
And furthermore. . . I’m sorry, Jonco, I have gotten angry. Your site is wonderfully funny and light, and it is inappropriate of us to argue here. But the civil rights marchers EXPECTED to be hosed off their feet with fire hoses. They EXPECTED to have police dogs set on them. They EXPECTED to be beaten by police with their clubs. THIS was courage. THIS was conviction. They felt deeply. They changed us for the better. If someone burns an American flag, they should do so in fear, as the civil rights protesters did. But they did it anyway. Courage and conviction. Burn the American flag with fear.
Chris: don’t be a tool. Don’t terrorize or hurt your fellow citizens. That’s the job of the fascist police-state, which I pray you oppose. The hairiest, stinkiest flag-burning hippie is still your countryman. As a patriot, you can’t choose when and when not to fight for him. You become an honorless traitor and jackboot the moment you attack him over his peaceful political demonstration. It’s sad that you’ve vowed to do such a thing.
Flag-burning is non-violent protest. If you want to counter-protest, you must do it nonviolently. Flags can be replaced, nations can be rehabilitated, hearts can be re-won. Think about how you can do that without violating another’s rights, or spilling his blood.
Sadly, I’m talking to a wall. No more comments.
no more.
Let’s say John Smith car runs out of gas in the middle of the desert (silly John) during his road/camping trip and there isn’t anyone for miles that you can see. Mr. Smith steps out of his car and decides to set camp until another car drives by so he can hitch a ride to the nearest gas station. He was a bit chilly and decides he was going to make a little fire to try to keep warm. He didn’t have blankets with him which he was going to purchase at the next Wal-Mart he would come across, he remembered he recently purchased an american flag to hang outside his camp sites. Mr. Smith uses the flag as a blanket and takes a squat next to the fire. THEEEEEEEEEEN, all of a sudden, a big burst of wind comes and blows the flag right off of John. The flag catches on fire since he was sitting a tad too close to the flames and he starts stomping on it trying to put it out, which it actually made it worse. While all of this is going on a car in the distance is driving (we’ll say the driver’s name is…Curtis) in John’s direction and stops to only see the last bit but doesn’t know how it was an accidental fire. He gets out of the car and starts beating him down for burning the flag…
Then what happens???
And that’s the life-cycle of a nation right there, folks. When the government, or it’s representatives inevitably cease to be reasonable, the peasants tend to demonstrate and even revolt.
The sweetest way to play the game is to take your potshots from behind a smokescreen of hypocrisy. I see Chris is quite wrapped up in his flag, now all he needs is a bible.
Deborah: Curtis wouldn’t beat up John without a crowd to cheer him on.
AD…sorry, but you appear to be the one with a closed mind…you give off strong vibes of how dare anyone disagree with me, and even stronger vibes of sanctimony.
A closed mind is bearable, a sanctimonious fool is tolerable, but a closed minded sanctimonious fool is too much.
Chris and AD,
Welcome, great back and forth. Yes this is mostly a humor site, but we still have our political go rounds. Look for DJ, Infidel, Richard, Acorvid, Revrick, and some of the others for interesting discussions.
Playing the sweetest game, eh Gary? My “vibe” is “how dare anyone assert that he is a better category of American, and is thus entitled to violently attack those who do things he doesn’t like”. Awful, aren’t I? Were you paying attention to his rants? He considers his non-compliant countrymen to be scum. He admits he’ll take pleasure in hurting them. His attitude is categorically un-American. If you were more attracted to his message than mine, then you’re too much, sir. I’d be happy to let the jackboots finish you off first, before I go in to action.
Chris – I am sorry to hear about your Uncle. Too much history is lost with people like your Uncle. At least you have his stories to pass on and in this he will always be remembered.
Thank you, bitscared. I could spend hours relating his stories. Some were funny, some were frightening, all were fascinating. And all need to be passed on, you’re right. My family treasures them all.