Here are a few examples of dealing with the people that enter the Emergency Room:
I was at the nurses station about a month ago filling out papers when a lady and her husband come up to the counter. The man goes and sits and the lady asks the nurse quietly “Can I put DNR on here and not worry about coming back?” The nurse giggles and says sorry, no, at which the lady smiles and says “Oh c’mon, they let us do it at the animal hospital!”
A 93 year old drunk woman needed a CT of her head after a fall. After I explained the test to her, she decided that she didn’t need it and stripped out of her gown for good measure. For the next 10 minutes the nurse and I desperately tried to put her gown back on while she yelled and tried to climb out of the cart, jiggling all over the place. It was not a good jiggle.
Had a drunk who had been beaten bad brought in by EMS on a spine board. Doc cleared him off the board, so the case nurse got some of us to help her roll him off. She said ‘Hun, we’re gonna turn you over’ and he asked ‘To who?’
When asked for her medical allergies the other night, a patient told one of our nurses she was allergic to oxygen. Seriously.
Patient comes into ER for a vibrator stuck in his Ass. The ER physician can feel the vibrations coming through the man’s abdomen and cannot retrieve it so he consults a surgeon who comes in to see patient and takes him for surgery. Just prior to the surgery, The surgeon asks the patient “alright when I get in here do you want me to remove it or change the batteries!” fucking hilarious and I love this surgeon.
I got one. I had gone through a large bay window my arm was bleeding terribly. Later on it would require 12 stitches. After arriving at the ER the nurse refuses to let me get seen until I sign paperwork because “I am still counsious” I explain that I cant sign due to the fact that my arm is mangled and the other arm is busy keeping pressure on the wound. I am refused admission I scream at the nurse and eventually told to just take a seat. 45 minutes later I am seen, I had passed out in the waiting room from shock while waiting. The chair I sat on was covered in blood.
Oh and another one. Hit and run victim I find on the side of the road his ankle looks broken. We are a block from the hospital so I and a friend put him in the fireman’s lift and bring him to the ambulance area. The nurse refuses to admit us “because we are at the wrong door” she walks away so I push the button again. I yell at her that the man has a broken ankle and I am not walking him around the entire hospital because you wont open the door. She yells at me that I have to and starts walking away. I start violently kicking the glass door and explain to her how I will have her f-ing job the next day if she doesnt open the door. Finally giving up she brings a wheelchair loads the guy in. Wheels him 10 feet to the ER and starts cussing at me. Which is when I called her a c**t and stormed out.
Do I have compassion for ER workers? I used too. Sorry for ranting on your blog Jonco, I will send you some lols to make up for it 🙂
DAYUM
A friend of mine works at a hospital ER. They had a young couple come in one night and the man had a cucumber stuck up his rear. The wax they use on the cucumber to make it shiny, becomes sticky when stuck inside somebody.
I LOVE your site and I visit it daily, some days more than once. But I need to tell you that word RETARD or TARD is offensive to handicapped people. My son has severe autism and severe retardation and horrible seizures. He cant talk. The only reason I’m mentioning that its offensive is how else would you know? Those words are used so often but to families like ours, well its
worse than using the N word. And dont worry I’m not offended, and Im still a fan lol. Thanks for listening, Cindy
Cindy,
No offense intended. I didn’t choose the word. It is the name of the site I got this from. I know that doesn’t change the fact that the word still bothers some. I had a niece who was severely handicapped and I understand your concerns.
That’s a fine looking young man you have there!
Thanks for reading B&P.
Hey Jonco,
I’m 100% with Cindy, love your site and visit everyday. However it is 2009 no 1959 and certainly here in the UK almost everyone would find the word “Retard” inappropriate.
Keep up the good work and consider yourself severely reprimanded 🙂
Paul
Well, I’m nothing if not inappropriate every now and then.
Jonco, wouldn’t life be sooooo boring if we were all predictable.
Paul
I’m not goin’ anywhere lol. This is my FAVORITE blog =)