Democrats, realizing the success of the President’s “Cash For Clunkers” rebate program, have now revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan. President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which
is named…
“CASH FOR CODGERS” and it works like this:
Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription-dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.
Special “bonuses” will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10-pounds over their government-prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party is always good for a double coupon rebate.
Even larger “bonuses” will be given for codgers who consume alcohol, beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussels sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless by means of a toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep any other old codgers in repair.
Better keep an eye on your kids, or your friends, they may be looking at you as a trade-in.
Thanks Gene
Geez, with those terms, I’d be worth a mint. Glad my son lives far awaay.
Everytime I hear some guy go on about those death panels I think of Logan’s run
Patients with terminal illnesses are being made to die prematurely under British NHS scheme to help end their lives:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6127514/Sentenced-to-death-on-the-NHS.html
Since I’m 64, does anyone wonder why I’m not laughing so hard?
I have few qualify Republicans in my office – does it have to be a relative?..lol
LOL! Why was this held under until Chappaquiddick Ted finally kicked the
bucketbottle? We could have turned the tide of the whole economic crisis in one grand splash!THE SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OF PEOPLE!
DJ – Where did you get the pic of “Teddy Bear”?
Gotta say, as a St. Louis native, I’ve long been a fan of your site. This increasingly often foray into ‘politics’ and the classy comments on each post have turned me off the feed.
Richard – Easy…try Googling Kennedy sailor.
Yep, if this is part of Obamacare, I am worth a fortune; I am hopefully still too young (42) to be considered a codger.