In a small town in Ohio, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time since having coffee back in 2009. At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather trustingly.
“Well,” she said, responding very carefully, “I’d have to say… I would like it infrequently.”
Old Deej sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and casually asked .. “Is that one word or two words?
JohnC – Turn that frown upside down.
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So the teacher asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Steven raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.”
Mary raised her hand and said, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!!!”
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny said, “Well, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!”
“Where all da white wimmen at?”
My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, “Shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t, can’t, won’t!”
“Doctor, what’s wrong with my wife?”
“Nothing. She’s just having contractions”
Well, folks, I’m heading out. I’ve been up since 1 AM and I’m whupped. Have fun, catch you next time.
Hi rev.
Bye rev.
The 16th tee featured a fairway that ran along a road. The first golfer in a foursome teed off and hooked the ball. It soared over the fence and bounced onto the street, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and ricocheted back onto the fairway.
As they all stood in amazement, one of the golfer’s friends asked, “How did you do that?”
The golfer shrugged. “You have to know the bus schedule.”
That was a well spent hour and a half, I nailed them at Blackjack for a change. For a layed off dude, I am happy. Great baseball on ESPN.
Hopefully the Cubbies will come back and sweep the doubleheader.
Oh, crappola. I suppose I’m a day late and a dollar short, as usual?? dunno.
Hi.
hi.
Hi, KLAW. JohnC, we like your sense of humor, me thinks. You OK, buddy. We just like to laugh.
🙂 🙂 see, happy faces.
Well, then again, maybe I’m totally full of B.S. but it was a beautiful Sunday up here in British Columbia. God’s country. I have 2 ripe tomatoes/tomatos in my greenhouse and peppers too.
Paul, you say you never heard of Antje Duvekot? I am quite sure you have been here.
Do not eff with me, you will be the loser.
Dude.
It’s pretty hard for me to say I have never heard of AD, when if fact, I don’t know who AD is. I have also never purchased any form of music from Kiss. So it appears you are ready to tell me how much of a loser I am, please do so, I look forward to the edification.
Look above, a flying saucer!
PEACE Brothers, put your heads above it. Stop shitting on each others doorstep.
Well, please allow me to start here….You claim to be a RP, she is on now. I hope that clears things up.DUDE.
You are welcome, enjoy.
LOL @ DJ
KLAW, did you forget to take your pills again?
Yea,I was an hour late, they seem to be kicking in now. Rough ride coming home? Yes indeed they have kicked in, sorry I sometimes have to vent. I set the timer for my next dose.
KLAW, KLAW, KLAW……
I have given you innumerable thanks for RP, and have said today that I would send some love to them by the end of the month. So now you bust me for not knowing the name of the DJ (no, not our DJ) spinning tunes right now? Sorry, dude, but I have more in my life than just RP and B&P. btw, what are your thoughts on Sarah’s decision to start a third party?
Jonco, welcome back and the answer appears to be……yes
I could really get wound up, that is what you were hoping for. Instead I would rather say you are a guy in Boca, and we have different opinions. Please do not address any of your comments to me again. I gave you several chances end you blow it everytime. Please lay off of me. Thank you very much.
Jonco, nice to come home to this stuff, eh? Sorry about that, you know me, I can’t handle people constantly badgering me.
KLAW – Sorry, man, but its been looking like you have been the one starting crap with Paul. Never thought that I would be taking up for the head liberal in here! And I still don’t know who A Duvekot is and what they have to do with Kiss.
Nor do I HAVE A CLUE WHAT THE FLICK YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. Thank you Richard, I just signed out for good. No hard feelings, see you guys.
KLAW – The reference was to your post referencing A. Duvekot and the link to Kiss. Is your short term memory acting up?
We need a button up there to hit to | Buy Klaw A Cup Of Strong Black Coffee And A Designated Commenter |
Richard,
Thank you for your kind words. I will admit to being kind of a slang for your name in my last comment, asking for an opinion about Sarah. I was trying to elicit a response, just not the one it appears I received.
I better check the news to see if there’s anything about a train running off the tracks in Missouri…
“Yeah Rev, ‘Snickers’ doesn’t have any g’s in it.” – that’s what I thought may have caused the issue so I reworded, but the other is a grammatically correct spelling (per merriam-webster) and in usage it stands for a combination of a snort and a giggle. But it’s fine by me that wordpress filters snatched it. I rather have it captured when it shouldn’t than released when it should.
Sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says “Sorry, we dont serve food here.”
I’m still in Nashville, so you’re on your own today. 
Hello? Hello? Anyone alive out there?
In a small town in Ohio, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time since having coffee back in 2009. At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather trustingly.
“Well,” she said, responding very carefully, “I’d have to say… I would like it infrequently.”
Old Deej sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and casually asked .. “Is that one word or two words?
JohnC – Turn that frown upside down.
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So the teacher asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Steven raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.”
Mary raised her hand and said, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!!!”
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny said, “Well, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!”
“Where all da white wimmen at?”
My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, “Shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t, can’t, won’t!”
“Doctor, what’s wrong with my wife?”
“Nothing. She’s just having contractions”
Well, folks, I’m heading out. I’ve been up since 1 AM and I’m whupped. Have fun, catch you next time.
Hi rev.
Bye rev.
The 16th tee featured a fairway that ran along a road. The first golfer in a foursome teed off and hooked the ball. It soared over the fence and bounced onto the street, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and ricocheted back onto the fairway.
As they all stood in amazement, one of the golfer’s friends asked, “How did you do that?”
The golfer shrugged. “You have to know the bus schedule.”
That was a well spent hour and a half, I nailed them at Blackjack for a change. For a layed off dude, I am happy. Great baseball on ESPN.
Amy Ooops is so cool, I dig her.
http://www.amyoops.com/2009/07/hooaah.html
Hopefully the Cubbies will come back and sweep the doubleheader.
Oh, crappola. I suppose I’m a day late and a dollar short, as usual?? dunno.
Hi.
hi.
Hi, KLAW. JohnC, we like your sense of humor, me thinks. You OK, buddy. We just like to laugh.
🙂 🙂 see, happy faces.
Well, then again, maybe I’m totally full of B.S. but it was a beautiful Sunday up here in British Columbia. God’s country. I have 2 ripe tomatoes/tomatos in my greenhouse and peppers too.
Paul, you say you never heard of Antje Duvekot? I am quite sure you have been here.
Do not eff with me, you will be the loser.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiss_My_Ass
Ripe ones already? Cool.
Dude.
It’s pretty hard for me to say I have never heard of AD, when if fact, I don’t know who AD is. I have also never purchased any form of music from Kiss. So it appears you are ready to tell me how much of a loser I am, please do so, I look forward to the edification.
Look above, a flying saucer!
PEACE Brothers, put your heads above it. Stop shitting on each others doorstep.
Well, please allow me to start here….You claim to be a RP, she is on now. I hope that clears things up.DUDE.
You are welcome, enjoy.
LOL @ DJ
KLAW, did you forget to take your pills again?
Yea,I was an hour late, they seem to be kicking in now. Rough ride coming home? Yes indeed they have kicked in, sorry I sometimes have to vent. I set the timer for my next dose.
KLAW, KLAW, KLAW……
I have given you innumerable thanks for RP, and have said today that I would send some love to them by the end of the month. So now you bust me for not knowing the name of the DJ (no, not our DJ) spinning tunes right now? Sorry, dude, but I have more in my life than just RP and B&P. btw, what are your thoughts on Sarah’s decision to start a third party?
Jonco, welcome back and the answer appears to be……yes
I could really get wound up, that is what you were hoping for. Instead I would rather say you are a guy in Boca, and we have different opinions. Please do not address any of your comments to me again. I gave you several chances end you blow it everytime. Please lay off of me. Thank you very much.
Jonco, nice to come home to this stuff, eh? Sorry about that, you know me, I can’t handle people constantly badgering me.
KLAW – Sorry, man, but its been looking like you have been the one starting crap with Paul. Never thought that I would be taking up for the head liberal in here! And I still don’t know who A Duvekot is and what they have to do with Kiss.
Nor do I HAVE A CLUE WHAT THE FLICK YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. Thank you Richard, I just signed out for good. No hard feelings, see you guys.
KLAW – The reference was to your post referencing A. Duvekot and the link to Kiss. Is your short term memory acting up?
We need a button up there to hit to | Buy Klaw A Cup Of Strong Black Coffee And A Designated Commenter |
Richard,
Thank you for your kind words. I will admit to being kind of a slang for your name in my last comment, asking for an opinion about Sarah. I was trying to elicit a response, just not the one it appears I received.
I better check the news to see if there’s anything about a train running off the tracks in Missouri…
“Yeah Rev, ‘Snickers’ doesn’t have any g’s in it.” – that’s what I thought may have caused the issue so I reworded, but the other is a grammatically correct spelling (per merriam-webster) and in usage it stands for a combination of a snort and a giggle. But it’s fine by me that wordpress filters snatched it. I rather have it captured when it shouldn’t than released when it should.
Sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says “Sorry, we dont serve food here.”