The Death Trilogy Commissioner rules…

Razorback-the_grim_reaperYou didn’t even know there was such a person to settle all the argument about which dead celebrity qualifies as part of a Death Trilogy… did you?  Neither did I.  His task: Monitor all celebrity death trilogies to certify them as such and to determine if any meet or surpass the 1977 holy grail. He alone was given the power to monitor these important tasks.

The holy grail he refers to is the deaths of: Elvis Presley (Aug 16, 1977), Groucho Marx (Aug 19, 1977) and Sebastian Cabot (Aug 22, 1977)  More rules:  Deaths must take place in succession and within seven days of each other. Also, it is the sole determination of the Death Trilogy Commissioner whether any given person is even qualified to be included in a given death trilogy.

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7 thoughts on “The Death Trilogy Commissioner rules…”

  1. The Death Trilogy Commissioner has been surpassed by the Six Degrees of Death Committee who is responsible for determining celebrity death status for those who die in groups from three to six.

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  2. Richard–are you sure that the Six Degrees of Death Committed does not rule on how closely related the dead person is to Kevin Bacon?

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  3. Tim – Unfortunately lots of people get the Six Degrees of Death Committee confused with the six degrees of Kevin Bacon. It will really be a problem when Bacon kicks off. Also, we are now calling for the seven sons of the seven sons to gather, just in case somebody else expires.

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  4. The death-trilogy guy declared that, “…neither Billy Mays nor Gayle Storm would qualify to be a part of a death trilogy.”

    I’d bet Karl Malden would beg to differ…

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  5. This series of BIG name deaths all started with David Carradine. Then Farrah and Michael Jackson –They may not have been within 7 days of each other but they are close enough together to be linked in people’s memories.

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  6. RTFGNOW:And any guy can create a user name that roughly translates to “pig sneeze.”

    There is no “F’ing” the Death Trilogy Commissioner! He brings order to disorder. He eliminates the chaos the RTFGNOW’s of the world attempt to sow. He gives celebrities a purpose after death.

    Rest assured, the DTC is a functioning, contributing member of society with his own place (and his own basement). Perhaps if and when a group of wise shamans bequeath an official title to you, RTFGNOW, you’ll know the peace and comfort such an honor brings. Perhaps “Ass Clown Commissioner” is available…

    DTC

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