Open Mic Sunday

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Open micHere’s your chance to talk about anything you like.  Or you can paste a link to something you found funny somewhere else.

We’re off on a ride to Waverly IL to visit some high school friends we haven’t seen in almost 40 years.

Waverly2

Waverly is just Southwest of Springfield IL.  By car it’s about 2 hours from my house.  On motorcycles it’ll be about 2.5 hours.  We stop every hour or so for a butt break.

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291 thoughts on “Open Mic Sunday”

  1. Well I’m glad you all played nice! I could be the DD at the big arse BBQ. I don’t really drink, so sorted!

    Nearly 250 comments! Jonco is either going to be really pleased or a but cross! xxoo

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  4. One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.”
    His friend offered, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.”
    Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.
    Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
    He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
    Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better

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  7. This woman was at a bar just hanging out having a beer when this midget approaches her. He says “Wanna go back to my place?”
    The woman has always wanted to know if what they said about midgets and how they were small down under was true.
    She asks the midget about his size and he said he will not tell her, but she will have to figure that out through experience.
    So the woman agrees and they head back to her place.

    They get to her place and the lights are off and the woman screams with joy. She says “I guess what they say isn’t true.”
    The midget stops and then says. “Yeah wait till I get my other leg in!”

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  11. Well why didn’t think of that !!! HEY I think you have our summer stuck out there – do you wanna go send it our way – only 11 – 15 here the past few days ..

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  24. KLAW – Isiah has ruled that people over 50 are elderly. We are getting together the tar and pitchforks. You want in?

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  30. Bella love BC use to make 7 trips a week from Spokane WA to Castlegar, Grand Forks and Midway. bc roads where always better than WA roads.

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  34. Kasilof, anchor, deep creek, ninilchik and Swanson. Kasilof is the biggest and the last three are small but good fishing

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  35. Ahem..yes I have twin boys. They both have car seats. Not only do I NOT use my phone while driving but I dont even have text messaging on it.

    Its funny a 16 year old is capable of driving but a 15 cant? Wow must be a huge body change between the day before there 16th b-day and there sweet 16.

    I actually think younger then 50 is elderly. Bob Dylan said it best “Dont trust anyone over 30”

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  36. Well, I’m joining in late because it took a while for me to work through these messages on my walker, plus with the alzheimer’s, I kept forgetting what had been said, and of course, I had to keep hitching the pants up underneath my armpits, but we were talking about…oh crap, I’ve got to go back and read what it was Isiah said that got everybody fired up agin…I’ll be back…

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  38. May I give my honest opinion? Jonco works very hard keeping this site alive. It really is not intended for kids, but kids visit often, including his grand-daughter. Most people realiz(s)e that. Keep up the good work, buddy.

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  39. Isiah, it’s interesting that you’re willing to set an arbitrary limit of 50, but don’t understand a lower limit (15/16). However, be that as it may, I don’t entirely disagree with you (and yes, I’m over 50). I’m willing to take a test, but the items you mentioned are not a hazard per se, but more of an inconvenience (slow/turning signals). Yes, there are instances where people have driven through farmer’s markets and caused other accidents, but statistically, the younger driver, with less experience and a higher libido is more likely to be in an accident. I remember driving my 6 Camaro’s, my Nova, and my Cuda to their limits. I also took my Norton up over 120. Insurance is high until the age of 25 and then when it is statistically unsound to keep premiums low, they go up again. That’s around 70, I believe, and from what I’ve heard, it’s a BIG jump, good record notwithstanding. (Doing my bit to flame the fires to 300).
    And I agree Bella, Free The Whales… 🙂

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  41. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Richard. You’re not going to catch me on that. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice…won’t get fooled again.

    Reply

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