The first 100 days

Here are some excerpts from the Onion’s First 100 Days Diary:

DAY 3: Obama takes a few minutes to fill out the change of address card for his Popular Mechanics subscription.

DAY 6: Joe Biden spends the day sitting on a couch in the Oval Office, saying he “just wants to watch.”

DAY 9: Impressionist Rich Little sits in a bathrobe on the floor of his one-bedroom apartment trying to figure out how to say “I am not a crook” like Barack Obama.

DAY 13: President Obama meets with Vermont governor Jim Douglas and is saddened to find that he is not the creator of Garfield.

DAY 18: In one of many historic firsts, Barack Obama becomes the first black president to TiVo MythBusters.

DAY 36: Realizing there are 489 people working in the West Wing, Rahm Emanuel tells his secretary to stop buying cupcakes for everybody’s birthday.

DAY 46: A woman named Candi interrupts a Cabinet meeting to borrow $20 from Joe Biden for cigarettes.

DAY 58: Rahm Emmanuel sends out a memo forbidding any more graphical depictions of what a billion dollars in stacked $1 bills looks like.

DAY 89: To make up for missing the Opening Day first pitch, President Obama closes out the ninth for the Nationals.

DAY 97: Obama falls victim to the so-called “black presidents’ curse,” which holds that every African-American president will stub his toe trying to walk to the bathroom in the early morning hours of his 97th day in office.

The entire list

Thanks DJ

5 thoughts on “The first 100 days”

  1. I would put the commentators on this site up againest the Onion any time. For example – In a cost cutting measure, Joe Biden will be bringing his own duct tape to cabinet meetings to keep his mouth shut.

  2. Day 1, 4, 16, 23, 25,…,96,… – VP Joe Biden proves that although The Bill of Rights guarantees Freedom of Speech, it does not confer coherence.

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