The annotated thermometer

Thermometer60 -Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe)

50 -Miami residents turn on the heat

40 -You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably Minnesotans go swimming.

35 -Italian cars don’t start

32 -Water freezes

30 -You plan your vacation to Australia, Minnesotans put on T-shirts, Politicians begin to worry about the homeless, British cars don’t start

25 -Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming

20 -You can hear your breath, Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further south

15 -French cars don’t start, You plan a vacation in Mexico, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you 10 -Too cold to ski, You need jumper cables to get your car going

5 -You plan your vacation in Houston, American cars don’t start

0 -Alaskans put on T-shirts, too cold to skate

-10 -German cars don’t start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink

-15 -You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansas residents stick tongues to metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist

-20 -Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don’t start

-25 -Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get driver going

-30 -You plan a two week hot bath, The Mighty Monongahela freezes. Swedish cars don’t start

-40 -Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, your car helps you plan your trip south

-50 -Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window

-60 -Hell freezes over, Polar bears move south!!

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9 thoughts on “The annotated thermometer”

  1. Don’t forget that Owgore says that the Polar Bears are all but extinct, so I guess that we won’t have to worry about them swimming in South Florida swimming pools.

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  2. Scott, while that may be true…. the one just below it: -40 -Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, does California or Minnesota ever get to -40?

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  3. Yeah I know the whole list is exaggerated. I was being Cliff Clavin for a moment. My entire life was spent near the not-so-polluted-that-it-can’t-freeze Monongahela until a few years ago. Go Steelers! I was just interjecting a few facts and pointing out a spelling error. Just like if I said St. Losers live near the Mississississippi I’m sure Jonco would enlighten me.

    And btw I believe Minn. has been to -40 or lower.

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  4. I have just realized that one annotation is missing. At -25, the Packers and the Bills show up for a football game in short sleeve jersies.

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