Not too bright

by

Elephant or moon*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted….’Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where?’

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’ When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.’

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving’.

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk…

My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount….

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, ‘Wouldn’t the chain rip out every time she turned her head?’ I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned…

Bush first nameI couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’..

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

Thanks Joe P

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20 thoughts on “Not too bright”

  1. And 63.7 million just voted for Obama thinking that he is going be good for America…. as Homer would say, “D’oh!”

  4. I tried to explain to the girl at Lowes the other day how to calculate 25% off the easy way, and to just multiply the price by 75% which will result in the end price, thus saving her 1/2 of the calculations, I wish I never bothered.

  5. No bitscared, please “edify” us.

    ….. as they marched through the streets cheering and spouting forth tributes to the one and in the same breath besmirching the non-believers. They then came upon the square where the last remnants of freedom where being burnt. Incinerated by a fire fueled by hysteria, lies and myth. There they stood. Pledging their oath not to the country and to it’s principals but to a man…..

  10. Somebody just pooped in the punchbowl. I’m off to the watching-paint-dry channel…

    (screen door slams, car starts, tires squealing…)

  13. OK read the post. No more political. If we comment against the one then we are somehow a racist, bigot, hate spewing person. Well I don’t read this blog all the time so I guess I missed Jonco’s message.

    so like an osstrich should I bury my head in the sand??

    don’t think so. Do just keep going along with the wonderings of WIHI?

    ADIOS

    ….. as they marched through the streets cheering and spouting forth tributes to the one and in the same breath besmirching the non-believers. They then came upon the square where the last remnants of freedom where being burnt. Incinerated by a fire fueled by hysteria, lies and myth. There they stood. Pledging their oath not to the country and to it’s principals but to a man.
    And no one said a word in opposition as they did not want to be caste off as a heathen. A non-believer, afraid of the scorn…..

  15. ….and we were so good… for so long, at least 12 hours.

    Gonna close my eyes, lean back, and resume singing Drift away.

    Day after day I’m more confused
    Yet I look for the light
    Through the pourin’ rain
    You know that’s a game that I hate to lose
    And I’m feeling the strain
    Ain’t it a shame

    Oh, give me the beat, boys, and free my soul
    I want to get lost in your rock and roll
    And drift away

  18. Good idea Gary…Think calm thoughts. It was good. Very good. For part of one day…
    I think I’ll relax too, lean back, turn the lights down, feelin’ kinda mellow now, hummin’ a calming tune…

    Gotta find a woman Gotta find a woman Gotta find a woman Gotta find a woman
    She was a Big woman. BIG woman. Her name was Bertha. Bertha Butt. She was one of the Butt sisters.
    “I’ll sock it to ya Daddy! I’ll sock it to ya Daddy!”…..

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