Here are a couple I found on the internet:
I was coming home from work one evening – rather wet and windy it was. While approaching the bus station, I passed a row of telephone terminals. I spotted my brother-in-law, with his back to me at the end terminal. He’s rather distinctive – really tall, skinny with a mass of long jet black hair, and he always wears this old beat up biking type jacket. I crept up behind him and slapped him really hard on the back of the head and quickly ducked down…!! To my absolute horror this young woman turned around screaming and shouting…!!!!!!!!! I was mortified!!!
My most embarrassing moment happened about 6 years ago. My then boyfriend (now husband) were practicing safe sex, and when we were done he threw the condom in the trash can. At the time I had a crazy dog, she went dumpster diving after it while we were out of the room. We had no clue she had done this.
So the next day we were going out of town, and my mom came and took the dog with her to my grandmothers house. Well, my dog ended up pooping under the guest bed, and apparently pooped out the used condom.
My mom called me and in a very seriouse tone said, “I am glad to know that you guys are being safe, but please watch how you dispose of your condoms.” Oh, and of course my grandmother was the one who found it!!
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn’t want to miss the call, we didn’t have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, ‘SURPRISE!’ My entire family aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.
Want to share one of your most embarrassing moments?
an exgirlfriend was “taling care of me” on the road and I started crossing the yellow line,yea I got pulled over and it was a female cop(I think thats what helped me)and I remember what she said….”now I dont know if this girl was sitting on your lap or what but you need to control your car”and I was 10 shades of red,she let me off without a ticket…this is a true story
Infidel, I think Jonco was asking for embarrassing moments, not a bragging incident
When I was 29 I was dating this woman who was 19 and her mother hated me. “Tina” was very close to her mother, but had not told her about the misplacement of her virginity a boyfriend or two before we met. Tina’s apartment was right below mine, fittingly, and one morning she was over at my place and we were having a good time. No, we were having a great time. What we didn’t know was that Tina’s mother had come over, and was banging on the door trying to get in. We never heard her. After all was said and done, and we were just lying there then we heard the sound of her pounding on the door with a piece of wood. We hadn’t heard her, but she had heard her daughter making noises that totally blew her mind. The woman threatened to kill me, and Tina, but there are some things you just cannot stop.
Brian and Leslie were the happy High School couple, and they had decided to wait until they were married to have sex. Leslie’s parents were ultra strict, and they had to be back from dates by nine. One night, they got back on time, and Leslie’s house was dark. One thing led to another, and Leslie lost her virginity in the front seat of a car in her backyard. But right there in the middle of everything lights came on, the car door was opened, and her father pulled poor Brian off her and tried to kill him. Brian fled, naked, Leslie’s mom was there screaming and crying, and all hell broke loose. We got most of the details from Leslie’s younger sister, the screaming and naked running part, but Leslie told me as bad as it was it was made worse because as she stood there naked and freaked out her mom pointed out the condom was still hanging out of her…body.
Brian was arrested from being naked in public. Leslie was forbidden to leave the house until graduation. She spent her entire High School days not having another date. But they skipped school together like fiends.
I was working on a car once. A big ford (XB). I am not that tall and was removing the starter motor so had to lay across the guard and post myself in to the engine bay. My feet were of the ground and all you could see was my backside and legs. I was working away and I hear ‘G’day Paul!’ Paul being the other mechanic, then I felt a large hand grab a handful of bottom! I was young and my body had yet to be ruined by children so that wasn’t to embarrassing for me but when I extracted myself from the engine bay and said ‘I think you’ll find Paul in the workshop’, the poor guy looked like he was going to die! It did make it harder to remove the starter while laughing your guts out!
When my niece was very young (about 4) she got lost at the Zoo. When my sister retraced her steps she found my niece with a very tall, very black, bald American (he was from a visiting basketball team) who was laughing. My sister thanked him and said she hoped that her daughter hadn’t talked his ear off. He smile and said ‘It’s fine she just asked me Who stole your hair and coloured me in?’!
My sister was desperately embarrassed but appreciated that the nice guy had a sense of humour!
That would be ‘stole my hair and coloured me in’!
Bitsy, you are a riot!
I was visiting my out of town girlfriend at her parents house over a long weekend.
Now I don’t know why, but when I travel, I get a little “bound up”. So on day 3 of my trip, I’m getting ready to go out to dinner with my gal and the call comes, conveniently, while I’m in the shower.
The cable I laid was epic! Largest I have ever seen to this day, by me or any other human!
I proudly resumed my shower, got ready, and we had a wonderfully romantic evening.
The next morning at breakfast, her father asked the entire household seated at the table, “who left that monster s**t in the upstairs can yesterday? It took me a half-a-friggin hour to bust up and flush!”
I quickly and sheepishly admitted to the crime, as there was no way I could have her 80 year old grandmother take the rap for something that was easily a large fraction of her total size.
He father did not talk to me the rest of my stay and I was never invited to visit again.
Years ago I was in StL for my brother’s rather overlarge wedding. The male side of the wedding party was at the church getting dressed and I was sensing the tenseness of the moment due to pre-wedding jitters. Well, to lighten things up I thought I would make a joke on what I heard earlier that day. What I heard earlier that day was someone had commented on how the area of StL known as the Central West End should be called the Central “Rear” End because of the large gay population then residing there. (Is it still that way?)
Well I proceeded to tell the joke about it now being called the Central “Rear” End only for it to fall into dead silence with several angry looks my way. It wasn’t until later that I learned that the the bride’s portion of the male contingent were all gay.
Middle School 7th grade goth kid, the only goth kid in school. i was mysterious, dark, and intimidating. i was in history class working g on ancient aztecs or something like that when i came across something i needed help with. i don’t usually need help, you know, being mysterious and all, but i called my teacher over anyways. several kids noticed this and everything went silent. after sitting there for a few minutes breathing in his deathly sweet rotted meat coffee-breath i coughed really hard and a huge flatulent release escaped my mysterious butt in the silence of history. i felt like years went by before i ran out of the classroom, a classroom filled with the choking smell of chimichangas. was embarrassed, and worse, not one kid let me forget.
I WOULD try and recall my embarrassing moments, but it took forever for me to get over them so meh.
THis embarrassed me, a fellow soldier and his lady friend: While serving in the military, one of the guys sneaked a bitch skank into his tent. I was tasked by a sergeant to find this guy and it was dark, so flashlight in hand, I made my way over to his tent, slapped the side and called for him. He stuck his head out and asked why he was being disturbed, I shined the light onto his face as I thought that he was cammed up. I asked him why he was wearing cam on his face. He rubbed his face and it came off wet, which made me examine even closer. It wasn’t cam stick, it was blood! Yup, his skank was riding the red pony and he went down and ate taco! I said he might want to clean up before reporting in.
Paul I was not bragging but it was good …until we got pulled over DAMN IT
i’m glad to relive other people’s moments. yeesh.
My embarassing moment was when I was about 15. I had four friends over, one was 16, had a car, license, and had brought a case(his older brother bought it) of miller ponies. We set up a tent down the hill out of site and mostly out of hearing range. We built a fire, brought out the beer and proceeded to have a mini party. About 10 p.m. we decided to sneak away in the car, find older brother and get more beer. Meanwhile my dad had decided he should come check on us, he watched us quietly sneak up to the car put it in neutral and begin to push it(to get out of hearing range before starting it) Suddenly our black and tan hound decided to join the fun by braying, I loudly whispered Cassius you SOB shut your G D F***ing mouth. Next thing I knew a big hand grabbed my shoulder and my dad whispered in my ear, son should I help push, so you boys can sneak off.
I have never been more embarrassed, or grounded
you guys are great! keep them coming.
mine has to do with handcuffs and losing the key, and going to the police station for help. I’ll leave the rest up to you..
Amy,
more….. please
I was playing golf a few years back and sliced a powerful tee right into the backside of an elderly dude in a blue shirt standing about 30 yards away in the next fairway. He just grabbed his ass in pain without turning around as his playing buddy grabbed the the golf ball and flung it back into my fairway. I shouted “sorry, I didn’t have time to yell ‘fore'” and off we went. Later, as I was putting my clubs in the car, the old guy was doing the same in car beside mine. Trying to make light of things, I smiled and said, ‘how’s your bum?’ He turned around with a puzzled, suspicious look and only then did I realize it was a different old guy in a blue shirt. The more I tried to explain, the worse it got, so to this day, there’s an old guy with a big welt on his butt thinking some gay guy tried to make a weird pass at him in a golf parking lot.
OMG – it was so embarrassing when I got caught at 3 am crawling naked and dodging searchlights and machine gun fire thru waist deep snow on my hands and knees under the barbwire fence across the US/Can border into British Colum………….oh wait…that didn’t happen yet.
DJ,
I haven’t heard of anyone else having that sort of problem getting into Canada.
what have you done to piss them off?
My mother, Goddess love her, probably never used the correct terms for some body parts ever in her life,and it made for some awkwardness between us. Determined to avoid this with my own little ones, I practiced until I could mention the unmentionable without a flinch. This worked fine until my son was about 3. I was so proud of myself! Then came the day when we were stuck in a LOOOOONG line at the super market. He was bored, and wanted to show off to Mama. So he raised his sweet, clear, carrying voice and proceeded to give an impromptu biology lesson to me, and everyone else in line – “Mama! That’s a man! He has a p*n*s! Mama! That’s a woman!
She has a V*lv*! And, so on, everyone he could see…while mother was wishing the floor would open… and, wondering if Grarndma hadn’t been right
Sorry Mike, that’s classified.
If I tell ya I’ll have to kill ya.
Let’s just say the whipped cream, tire pump and saran wrap did not help the situation at all.
Oh, that’s a belly laugh DJ. Oh man!! I don’t know how your mind thinks this stuff up but I admire you. Please, let me know if it becomes reality and I’ll be on the other side with a warm blanket, a cold beer and we’ll run like the wind against them commie b@stards trying to take away the love toys. Ya, I will be bringing the camera too.
I have had many embarrassing moments. I must say the worst was years ago when my husband bought a brand new truck for his shipping business. He picked me up for lunch in his new truck and than drove me back to work. I called my friends to wait outside so they could see this awesome truck when we arrived. We pulled up and they were all cheering and clapping. I started to climb out and I slipped and fell, but I was still able to land on my feet. That was the good news, the bad news was that my skirt had caught on something and by the time I had hit the ground my skirt was yanked up past my waist. I screamed in horror and one of the guys gave me his jacket, so that I could cover my underwear. My husband had to lift me up in order to free up my skirt. I have never been so embarrassed in all my life!!!!It was truly a nightmare!
I think DJ just passed out Bella! LOL!!
ROF retailmidget… that’s DISGUSTING!
Oh yeah, the USA elected Barack Obama as president.
ITS CALLED A JOKE!! SO BEFORE ALL YOU NEO-LIBS EXPOLODE INTO FITS OF RAGE. IT IS A JOKE!
well.. it happened at the beach.. i was wearin a squart.. shorts and skirt together.. and i was on the swings.. my friend Megan was on with me.. and we were doin the spider man.. i was sittin on the swing.. and she was sittin on me facin towards me.. well 3 hot guys decide to come and sit on the sidewalk and watch us.. so we were swingin for about 15 mins.. and my legs started to hurt because they were being squashed.. so i told her to get off.. and she tried.. but failed horribly for me.. instead of gettin off backwards.. she tried to get off by goin over my head.. well when she did that.. i fell backwards.. and my squart got caught on the swing.. i fell off the swing and left my squart.. and to top it all off.. i was wearin a hot pink lacey thong.. 1 of the hot guys saw it.. and he elbowed his friends and said and pointed at me.. i was stuck upside down head in the sand with my ass hangin out.. and everyone saw!! omg it was so embarrassin.. i had to take pff my squart and megan put her jaket around me and we had to yank it off the swing.. after that.. i was known as PINKIE.. around the beach..
whats sex