1. When I was born, I was given a choice – A big dick or a good memory.. I don’t remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard feelings….’
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, it is lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small..
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What’s an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing……
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn’t.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!!
Thanks Gene
# 15 specifically applies AFTER marriage…
Ladies, why is that?!?!
Hmmm…good question. Maybe it’s because after a while the penis loses its beauty. Let’s face it -it was never really attractive to begin with- then with you have a husband who sits on his bum all day and complains…it kinda loses its “suckability” 😉
And here I thought I had Alzheimer’s all this time…
What was the question again?
Where am I?
omg – You Rock!!! hahahahahaha
lmao I dont know about the marriage ones,lmao at number 6, a few babes I dated didnt wear them and I thought it was soo hot,Hmmm I wanna try an Australian kiss… how about it Ana? oh yea are you going to see that movie “Australia”?lol
After readinng omg my computer got frost bite.
lol… maybe if guys weren’t such dicks about getting theirs sucked, it would happen more often. It’s the same reason you don’t wash the dishes or take out the trash:
Cause you’re sick of all the nagging. 😛
Lrn2Ask nicely.
Ouch! I’m sure that sums up your situation, but what about that other percent of good husbands?
Who are you people?
How did I get here? I was googling….umm…
I forget.
Forget what?